Lion Tamer

Why do I always feel like crying whenever I hear from O? Today I'd just about had it. I read an email from him after he disappeared for several days, got misty eyed as usual for no apparent reason, and set about putting this insanity to an end. My trip to the Great White North couldn't have come at a better time. I uesd it as a partial excuse to abscond. But then, just because I had to, just because O and I have always been exceedingly honest with one another (maybe too honest), I admitteded that there was another reason I'd be cutting back my contact with him. But that's my mystery to keep, and I think he'll respect it.
One day I wish I could figure out why his words bring sorrow into my gut and tears into my eyes. Maybe it's not so much what he says but how he says it, or how he means it all. Maybe it's even just what he doesn't mean. In any case, I have better things to do than spend my afternoons in contradictory sentiments mingled with confusion. In another dream, I'm a lion tamer, but in reality I know lion tamers nearly always get bitten....

In other news, my friend Rocky the spider moved on to greener pastures (or better bug grounds, as the case may be) last night, just when I tried to show him to Eddy. He was only the 2nd spider to EVER win my love like that, so I'll miss him. When I told Eddy, and then P this morning about him, they both looked at me as if I had two heads. I think what did it was when I asked in disbelief, "What? Haven't you ever had a rapport with an insect?" After about a minute of this, I asked P if I could just add one more thing about Rocky. He didn't hesitate to say, "No!"
Oh well, this is my blog and I can write what I want to so there. :)
For those of you who don't know, I'm the biggest arachnaphobic I've ever met. I'm basically the Stalin of the spider world, as I've ordered the deaths of thousands of the creepy things over my lifetime. I'm so scared of them I can't even get close enough to kill them. But Rocky was different. "Man, you should've warned me about Rocky!" Eddy said last night when I told him, "I could've killed him!"

I was up to 6am last "night" watching Lolita on TV (I hadn't remembered that being SUCH a messed up film) and listening to my new neighbors move in and talk. They were cracking me up making fun of their "friend" BF. One of the guys would make a funny voice, the "voice of BF," and say stupid things while the others laughed. This morning when I met P for lunch, I told him about it and he said, "BF!? Wow, I know that guy...." and told me all about him. What a great little town we live in. :-P