Auntie's Municipal Court

I wasn't really "into" my visit at the jail yesterday. It wasn't the ladies' fault, it was my own. I'm not happy with the way I'm attacking the visits. I'm making them more personal than spiritual, and I'm selling the Faith short while I'm there. I'm following the St. John Bosco proverb: "Get them to love you, and they'll follow you anywhere."

But I don't have time to get them to love me since at a jail, the prisoners move out so quickly. That kind of relationship works better in a prison setting. I'm like a cross-country runner who's simply at a loss in a sprint. I always feel so . . . phoney . . . walking into a cell with a person and hastily pointing out Scripture. I need to really put my trust in God more than in myself.

With the long-term prisoners I know, love and trust don't come easy; but once you get it, you can use it as a stepping stone to ministry. Almost every prisoner I know serving hard time tells me he loves me. After a while. We begin and end every conversation with those hallowed words: "I love you." And mean it. Sometimes, I'm all he's got. On some days, he feels like all I've got. We go through ups and downs together. With death row prisoners, some of those downs can be pretty ugly and rotten. A relationship grows strong after a while. But in jail, face to face with someone I've only met maybe once before . . . how can she trust me? How do I know what to say? I don't know her from Cleopatra. To her, I'm just another symbol of the system she's learned to despise.

Last night 2 black Baptists came in with me for the hours and I asked one for advice. He really straightened me out a lot and encouraged me. We had a funny moment too. One of the officers asked if we had any weapons on us. The Baptist held up his Bible and said, "Yes! Here they are!" The officer laughed and came up to me with a smile. "Do we have a problem here?" he asked. In the jail, any small excuse to laugh is significant.
Please pray for this ministry. I'm no good at it and I need to be. If nothing else I need to be there to listen to their problems and if I can, offer some sound advice here and there. It isn't easy, I'm finding out. I still don't know how these other religious workers do it. Eventually I'll learn. I'll never quit because there's no one else to take my place. There really isn't. The jails and prisons are the modern day leper colonies--not even the inmates want to be there.