All the Possible Musings of A Head Needing Some Rest

I'm listening to Coldplay DJ on AOL and I must say, though I'm not a Coldplay fan really, they certainly have good taste in other music. :) They've already played Wilco and Gram Parsons.
In news of the heart, BC, from now on called CD, has continued to amaze me. I can't really explain it, but he saw it too, just over one phone conversation and a few emails. He's simply amazing. That doesn't mean I'm into him or anything. I think we're both just happy to have found someone who's sooooo complimentary to the other, even if it is basically over the internet. If I ever go to Nigeria, it's nice to know I'll know like half the citizens! Ha! I've been invited and welcomed multiple times by now.
CD is just--wow. He's incredibly intelligent. I told him he should be a philosopher and bishop. He's also very humble and articulate. He told me his whole life's story already and I've told him mine. I've never told anyone half the stuff I broke down for him in a matter of days. Crazy. Furthermore, IK's cool with it. I mean, it can only go so far. He's not leaving Nigeria anytime soon sooo..... It's just really great to be able to type away anything I want, all my thoughts, fears, upsets, etc. and push the send button--the words fly across the ocean into some cafe computer and boom, within a couple days I get an epic response, detailed, unfathomably well thought out and helpful. Kind of like having a super-smart diary that can type useful replies to all your entries. Cool. The other day I talked to FC. For the whole conversation I wanted to bring up IK, but I only managed to do it once. He glossed over it and mentioned that he had to go. It must be a coincidence. If I hurt him, I'll kill myself. I don't intend to, but how do I phrase this: "Baby, I know you've spent all your money on me and told all your friends and family about me and spent all your time making things good for me, and fallen in love with me and all that, but remember how you introduced me to your brother? Yeah, well, he's been hitting on me for like a year and now he's coming to visit me and I dunno, I think I might have feelings for him that I can't quite put my finger on"? Yeah right!
Anyways, my idea was that the matter wasn't even a big deal until one of them came over here physically. IK said, "OK, we'll just both be your husbands until that happens." It kinda sunk it then that I should be open and honest regardless of whether "I'll get caught" or not. I'm prepared to be direct now, I just have to figure out what the truth is though. FC is my heart, but am I really prepared to wait this visa jazz out forever? If not forever, then when do I draw the line? Just when I find another boyfriend in the USA? Something doesn't seem legitimate about that...