Why put off today what you can do tomorrow?

Procrastination is fun fun fun (till daddy takes the T-bird away) [yes that's a Beach Boys reference!]. Ugh, I'm so deeply entrenched in Latin now that I know that "procrastination" comes from the Latin word "cras" that means "tomorrow."
I just got home and feel like going straight to bed. I slept through 2 alarms this morning and was in a deep sleep STILL at 10:30am when my friend came to my door to get me. All night I was dreaming about my boss--I had to get her tennis lessons and help her down a flight of scary stairs. I wish I dreamed about something relaxing at night. I need a break!
Ah, the sweet glow of Night Court approaches...soon I will be with you Judge Harry T. Stone, Dan Fielding, Bull Shannon...soon, I will think of nothing but levity!!!
[Why did that sound eerily foreboding?]

"He did it! He missed the barn!"- Clay, "Cat Ballou"

PIDGEONS!

Multas gratias to meus amicus for finding this MOST TRIUMPHANT blog. If you don't visit it, you're totally missing out (random Valley Girl emphasis intended):
porchpidgeons.blogspot.com
It is so cool, you'll never want to leave. Well, that's if you're as obsessed with pidgeons as I am.
Everyone deserves a pidgeon time-out break.

Vent, vent, vent

Salvete all, here I am again. I think I might have a nervous breakdown, but quia te Deus fortitudo mea (You O Lord are my strength.) It seems everything has happened all at once and I'm really straining to deal with it all. The only things I could probably share online include my courses (that I let go until the last minute), my job (that I'm even dreaming about on a regular basis), my car (having issue after issue and since I need my car for work, I NEED MY CAR--therefore it can't go into the shop until my boss goes out of town), and the fact that this week one of the prisoners decided to kick his reputable lawyer off his case and APPOINT HIMSELF as lawyer (this is a prisoner who was illiterate until several years ago--he JUST got a new trial that could get him off death row, so the timing couldn't be more crucial);another prisoner has informed me he might go BACK to death row because someone stole his pillowcases and when he finds the culprit he's going to KILL him;and another prisoner wrote me from the hospital yesterday because he's starving himself. This last guy also just got let off death row, but he wants to be set free instead of having the life sentence he has. Sigh. Why does everyone choose to be crazy all at once? And these are just the prisoners I'm mentioning online.
Well, so I'm venting. I have to. I have little time to vent to anyone else and even now I'm giving up lunch to write this. I'm just looking forward to Christmas when I can go back up North and maybe take a stroll through the woods with my dad, or drink a nice hot cup of tea with my mom, and taste my grandma's famous chicken soup. Ahhh....
Valete--si valent, valeo. (If you all are well, I am well.)

PS Thank you all for commenting on my blog--even though I haven't been checking it as often as usual, it makes me feel good to know you are reading this thing! I love you all a LOT! (But I only love Chuks in that extra-special-cutsie-wootsie sorta way of course; I'm sure you're all very glad to know that.) ;)

Viva!

I love Papa I love Papa I love Papa! Just had to let that out. I'll never become Orthodox, Papa, I just love you too much. OK, that's only one of the myriad of reasons, but still, a major one. What a great Pope. What a great Church. Sometimes I just have to let it out, people. :)

I slept for 10 hours last night! I was that tired! I turned off my ringers so that no one could wake me, and didn't wake until 3pm. We were set to leave for church at 3:50! I showered, ate and dressed in a matter of minutes, took the dogs out and somehow made it in a daze. Then there was more Latin to attend to, and now bed. Boy, that all went fast.
Tomorrow: work, Latin, Criminal Justice, and hopefully bed before 5am. I haven't gotten on board my prison work for days; it just piles up, day after day, until one day in the future I scoop it all up together, sift through it, and finish the batch. Every time I think I'm one step ahead I realize I'm actually three steps behind. How does that happen!?
Father gave me absolutely WONDERFUL advice today about how to manage my time and stress better. I think I'll actually be able to cope now. I've said it before but I'll say it again: I'd take an AK-47 bullet for that monk.

In a humorous update to my last post, somewhere in the midst of my 10 hour sleep, I really DID dream about Latin cases, declensions, nouns and abjectives. Maybe this isn't good for my brain after all. Well, at least they weren't wearing togas.

Latina est gaudium

Pauci viri veros amicos habent, et pauci sunt digni. Amicitia vera est praeclara, et omnia praeclara sunt rara. Multi viri stulti de pecunia semper cogitant, pauci de amicis; sed errant: possumus valere sine multa pecunia, sed sine amicitia non valemus et vita est nihil.

I feel I haven't been a really good friend lately but in my flimsy defense: Videte! All I've been doing is Latin and Criminal Justice! I'm even starting to UNDERSTAND it all.
Off to have dreams of declensions, nominative and accusative cases, all dancing around in togas in my head....Let's hope I can finally get a full night's sleep. This place has been a madhouse lately.

Omnia labor et non ludus....

When I need you, in the night, when I need you to hold me tight, whenever I want you all I have to do is dream....

Hi everyone. Again, this week has been downright hectic, so I haven't had much time for anything but work and study. Well, I take that back. From 1130-midnight I've made time for Night Court. But let's face it, I need to eat and unwind before sleep. If I didn't get that, I might get nuttier than I already am. And we wouldn't want that, now would we?
The catechist weekend went much better than I expected. Now there's just one more class this Sat. on Children's Methodology and then I'll be certified for adults and children. OK, I'll be certified after I turn in 7 papers and a lesson plan. But as my boss would say, "that should be easy as a pie."
I've been pushing myself harder than I have in about 2 years, and so far so good. Maybe that's what I needed, a little "sink or swim" technique. It seems to be working. Well, it's the prayer that's really working.
The only thing that's annoying is that I don't have the same amount of time I used to have for the prison work and for my friends or family. I've been telling one uncle of mine I'd send him just a simple email for over a week now, but something always seems to come up. This past week and a half in particular has been stressful in a bad way. It just won't let up. One person has been on edge and making me miserable--another locked horns with me last night and gave me insomnia. Through it all I remain optimistic--probably because I'm too busy to really worry about it or dwell on anything. That's the way I like it!
Season premier of Lost tomorrow and I WON'T miss it! Something always seems to come up on Wed. nights to make me miss that show--but not tomorrow! I'm even having dreams about the Lost now....
My dreams have been strange in general. People who have been yelling at me are calm in my dreams...people who are usually calm are mad at me. None of them seem to make any sense at all. The other night I dreamed human remains were found in a dept. store and for some reason I wondered if I had killed the victim. Then a whole saga ensued where I couldn't remember if I killed the person or not so I wondered if I should even hide the remains. I'm always either getting killed or killing someone in my dreams.
I need to sleep a whole night through! Last night I figured that was a shoe-in. Even though I couldn't sleep till 430am (because of the fight) I had nothing pressing me to wake up at a certain time. At 8am I was proven wrong. Some neighbors banged on my door and asked if "that was my station wagon?" They gestured towards my car, so I nodded. They told me to move it. I went out, saw I wasn't blocking anyone, but figured I'd move it anyways, just so I could go back to sleep. As I opened the door, some people yelled, "No, no, we meant the OTHER station wagon!" There it was, parked right in between me and another car, blocking the other one in. Tomorrow for sure I'm gonna get my sleep!

If only Harold T. Stone were a real judge. If only he were a real man. If only....
Reality is a cruel thing at times.

The Day the Music Died

Aight y'all, I'm sorry about the music that plays here but I didn't even know about it until last week. Apparently my computer doesn't have the stuff to play it! I didn't set up this site, but the limey did, so he's the one to blame! I knew I should never trust a Redcoat.... So anyways, if anyone knows how to stop the music, please let me know. I went into the settings of Blogger and can't figure it out at all. My ignorance of computers was why I enlisted the Redcoat in the first place. Sorry again. Just turn off your speakers whenever you come here for the time being. I can imagine the irritation.

Busy Bee

Hi all, I've been a busy bee lately--some good stuff, others not so good and just stressful through and through. So I guess you could say this week has been bittersweet. The good thing is my job is still coming along very well, and I did make a small dent in my Latin course. But some personal stuff has had me on edge and also my car did a crazy thing with my boss in the car so I have to take it in to the garage early tomorrow morning. If my car dies, it takes the job with it! But I can't worry about that right now. Once again, O helped me through an insane day by sending me a thoughtful email and then allowing me to vent. Priceless! This is one of those blog entries where I'm basically brain dead and can't think of one neat thing to say. This week will continue to be busy, but in a couple weeks things should die down. By the end of this month I SHOULD be a certified basic catechist which means I can teach kids up to grade 5. I can go on to get more training for older people but I don't know when that happens yet. Being certified isn't the most important thing in the world--let's face it, if I'm ever in a poor mission field (like I was last summer), the people don't ask for a certificate before letting you teach. You just show you know the Trinity, the Incarnation, the Seven Sacraments and they put you to work. But once I get certified, I'll feel stronger about my knowledge and I'm sure my students will learn a LOT more. (Case in point: One kid asked me last year: "Mary is Jesus' Mother, right? And the Holy Spirit is His Father? And to make a baby they have to be married?" I don't think I ever convinced the boy I knew what I was talking about when I assured him they were NOT married, but indeed they were each a "Parent" of Christ. Sigh.) I spoke to FC for a while today and he is still looking into missionary options for the USA. So am I but I need to get my stuff together here first and make sure I'd be able to fulfill an obligation like that.

Jack Potts, Yatti and Bruce

2005 has been a bad year for deaths. I just got word that Jack Potts has died of cancer. It doesn't come as a surprise--in fact, the only surprise about it is that he lived as long as he did. Last year our mutual friend X told me Jack had been taken to the hospital and wasn't expected to return. I wrote Jack a so-long note assuring him of my prayers and he gave me a signed Sacred Heart of Jesus picture in return, thanking me for everything. I have another present to remember Jack by: a couple of years ago when X wanted to make me a Rosary as a surprise gift, it was Jack who helped him make it, showed him what a Rosary was and how it had to be fashioned. Jack had converted to Catholicism back in 1980.
I truly hope all of you will say a prayer for Jack tonight. He didn't die young, but of course I wish he'd lived longer. He also didn't die with love and affection surrounding him. He certainly didn't die with prayers on the lips of those who were nearest to him. That's because he made his home on GA's death row. To my knowledge, he never claimed he was innocent of the crimes he was charged with, but I know that he has expressed regret and repentance. When I met Jack for the first time and shook his hand, I couldn't imagine a man like that causing any trouble. Already old, he looked pale and weak. Soft in tone, he struck me as incredibly humble and shy. This isn't to say he isn't responsible for the violence his actions undoubtedly caused in the past. It is to say that I suspect the Jack that died of cancer the other day is not exactly the same Jack that caused ugly crimes in 1975.
In a way, I'm thankful that he never had to be strapped to a gurney and murdered in front of those who hate him most. One such person, upon learning of Jack's death, remarked, "Well, at least we don't have to waste money on his appeals anymore." That was the only eulogy he got. Well, I'm writing this to make sure that isn't the case any longer.
I know Jack's girlfriend across the seas will miss him. I know X and a host of other prisoners, who all appreciated his honesty and respect, will miss him as well. And though I braced myself for his journey out of this world as early as last year, I do feel a sense of loss today because someone who treated me with friendship, humility and respect is gone.
Maybe not gone. I don't know where he is, but I do know that like everyone who has departed, he needs our prayers.

Today is a day to remember Yatti as well, my only other friend to die on death row of so-called "natural" causes. Yatti will always be special, however. He died young, innocent, and needlessly, at the hands of barbaric officials who thought it their job to inflict his sentence upon him early. The only reason Yatti isn't a free man today is because he was denied common, decent medical care that could have saved him. I try to be forgiving, but whenever I remember his smile, bitterness creeps in.

Please pray for my landlord as well, who has been given only a year to live on account of cancer. He's always been a fair man, trustworthy and kind. Perhaps with prayers we can see a miracle happen. It happens all the time! His name is Bruce.

The Man That I Knew Somewhere

Somehow K reminds me so much of JR.... Witty without going overboard, intelligent, hard-working, incredibly practical and down to earth yet unphased and unscathed by most anything. Single-minded. Focused. Driven. Direct and straightforward. I couldn't appreciate JR when I knew him; I was too busy running after phantoms in the wind. I can't truly appreciate K now because I have my guard up against him. I know what he's after but something in me tells me to put the brakes on. Something strong. It's interesting how in life we meet folks we like but who scare us a little, and for no seemingly rational reason. K and I could be friends except for my self-imposed barrier. Maybe with time I'll raze the walls and settle into a nice friendship with him. It would be pleasant and fun to say the least.

Ode to Afrin (Nose Spray)

Afrin, O Afrin, what would I do
Without a medicine so helpful as you?
At night when I can't breathe
I reach for my hero
How much I appreciate you
The world may never know
And I don't care what anyone around me will say
Perhaps I won't abandon you after the 3 days
But what is this?--today you've seemed just a little weaker
My future, tonight, tomorrow, is looking so much bleaker
Is it true, please tell me, that after only six uses
You desert me or even worse may shower harsh abuses?
For I have read (and some have said) that after those 3 days
Of bliss and clarity you may leave me in a haze
Wondering and lamenting if I'd not been better off
Not calling on your name at all while others watched and scoffed
Afrin O sweet Afrin I've trusted and believed
Yet now I see the very hard and cruel reality
Though first you comforted and salved, now I'm so much worse
Your stay was only bittersweet, hesitant and terse.

An Exciting Adventure Inside My Nose

Hi everyone! It's taken me so long to write because my life got seriously cluttered recently--but it's a good clutter thank Jesus. I've been working and making $ (much needed) and *gasp* I actually like working. J is awesome and so is my co-worker R. We had a baby shower for R the other night and it came as a big surprise to her. She really deserved it--she works really hard and is patient every step of the way. People like that are just precious.
One thing that's been on my mind too is expanding the work I do with prisoners to working more locally and at the county jail doing Catholic ministry. Usually I've only focused on death row, but I don't think I should limit myself to this. There's a group going from our parish into the county jail here and then there's also a whole Catholic org. that goes into jails and prisons all over the country. It was funny because the director of the org. put me in contact with this guy who wrote me back saying, "Don't I know you from the death row work...?" It's a small world when you're working with prisoners because let's face it, it's hard to have sympathy for some of these people....
Again I don't want to spread myself too thin. I have a habit of "building castles in the sky" as St. Josemaria Escriva would put it: imagining great works and creating a lot of ideas, but never seeing them fulfilled. In other words, like I told an Orthodox priest at my grandmother's house, "I'm all talk" sometimes. (I was complaining to him about Catholics/Orthodox not getting martyred in the Arabic world enough for the sake of evangelization; then I promptly signed myself up for the cause. Just as everyone began trying to talk me out of it, I realized what a coward I really am--all talk, no action.) Ah well, so it goes. I just can't manage to shake the hypocrisy out of me these days.
Speaking of hypocrisy, this Katrina is driving me nuts. Like Ems, a native Louisianan, told me the other day, "I don't know what's worse--the hurricane or the way the gov't has dealt with it!" She's right. LG could tell you the worst of it--he listened to 60 hours of New Orleans radio last week and claims things are MUCH worse than the main media is reporting. Oh boy. I just can't imagine why the US is able to respond in a jiff to other nations in distress, but not AL, MS, LA. It boggles the mind.
OK. Now about my nose. I thought I was cured of my cold but suddenly my nose became more blocked up than ever and it's driving me up a wall! Almost literally. I can't use those nose sprays forever, and tonight it was so blocked up I had to do jumping jacks to clear them out enough to even get the spray in! Disgusting, I know. Y'all REALLY wanted to read about this. But I absolutely hate not being able to breathe and this is practically the worst case of this I've ever had. Any suggestions? Home formulas? Recommended medicines? I'll bet I needed antibiotics after all. I blame this all on my brother up North....WAH!
I had a nice day though. Lunch with two of my favorite people, chores that made me feel productive, and I capped it all off with a great episode of Night Court. Could a girl ask for anything more? Oh yeah, I should have been working on my courses...Fsst!