Home Again Home Again Jiggity Jig

First off let me say hello to O, who so patiently puts up with my weird posts about him. My emails to him basically read like a second and more personal blog, and those messages are even stranger than the ones I put on here. VERY good guy O is! ;)
Second, my prayers go out to all the victims of the hurricane. I've been watching some of the coverage since I got back last night and words aren't enough to describe the sorrow I feel. :(

Here is a quick outline of my 2 week trip up North:
See brother, see Cindy, Liam and NYC (woo hoo!), get sick and watch Marx Brothers, go to PA and visit extended family (most of whom I haven't seen in over 10 years!), watch more Marx Brothers, visit Shrine of the North American martyrs where my patron St. Rene Goupil was martyred 400 years ago for putting the Sign of the Cross on an Iroquois child's head, see Fr. Kirby for the first time in a couple years, see Beth for the first time since high school--and meet her fiance and listen to the old tapes she and I made when we were 11 (hilarious!), celebrate my mom's birthday, watch more Marx Brothers (6 movies in 2 weeks). I know there's a lot more in there but it all went by so quickly. All in all I thank God because it was an excellent trip, very memorable to say the least, and I was so anxious about it beforehand. Things could have gone very badly on account of a host of reasons I won't go into, but I survived and not only that, I enjoyed every minute of it. I was actually even a little sad to make my return flights home, and quick to tell everyone I'd be back for Christmas. Some of the highlights in my mind have to be visiting Ellis Island, hanging out with my brother, seeing Aunt Ann-Marie again, taking a walk with my dad on the coal bank and finding fossils, dinner with my long-lost family, visiting my Djido (Grandpa) Joe's grave for the first time ever (and Peter's and Aymi's) , standing in that riverbed where St. Rene was buried, and actually being able to buy my mom her birthday dinner at King David's (stuffed grape leaves...mmm). Oh yeah, and I heard from ZZ again for the first time in quite a while and he brought good news...he's now officially a doctor! Hurray! He had been having trouble with his exams, so he was scared about it, but he passed and now he will being his residency. I'm incredibly proud of him because I know what effort he had to put forth to succeed, and well, he's my brother (I adopted him and he adopted me about a day after we met) so...I win out as well! Now I can say I have 2 brother-doctors. I'll never have to worry about getting sick I guess. :-D Congrats, Dr. Brother, and all my love to you.

Thanks to everyone who made my trip so wonderful--now the bar is raised high, so in December things better be just as cool!

Peter

I know this blog is turning more into an obituary section of a newspaper, but what can I do? I believe that when people I know pass on, the best thing for me to do, for me, for them, is to remember them....
Two guys I went to school with, John and Peter, passed away not long ago, and I just found out a few days ago. John, I didn't know so well. Peter I did. I went to school with him every grade of our schooling, and by high school he was even playing in my band. After I moved to GA we didn't stay in touch--it wasn't like that--but now that he's gone it hits me: every roll call his name was there, every friend I had he had as well...now there's just this weird void where he used to be. I took him for granted like I take air for granted. But he was the background for my entire childhood.
I posted this on his obituary message board:
Dear Peter,
I was so saddened to hear of your passing.... It seems impossible. Almost every year of my schooling, from Holy Cross elementary to JD high school, you were there. I saw you first as a jokster, then as a talented musician--but always as a good person, never hurting anyone's feelings, always lending a helping hand. In all those years, I honestly can't recall meeting someone who disliked you. I know that the Lord is happy to have you back in His Arms.
But the world you left will always miss you.

Last Transmission from this Side of the Mason-Dixon (well, for 2 weeks anyways)

Today is Cinder's birthday--hip hip hurray! Hip hip! There is a crowd of people here cheering but as it's the Internet obviously they go unseen and unheard. What a crying shame. Their enthusiasm is incredible. Happy 25--you feel the year out for me so I'll be prepared next June. :)

2 days straight of pre-travel chores, but finally last night I actually slept. I think I went 4 days without a good night's sleep. Ahhh....
For the next 15 days, Edison officially becomes the Southern version of me.
Oh pick it, Luther--um, I mean Sonar....

I got a new phone yesterday so everyone should be able to get a hold of me the same way as usual even when I'm out of town.
Ha! My dad just called and when I answered he said what everyone says: "You weren't supposed to answer!" Then he likened calling me to the Loch Ness Monster: when you go to the loch, you really want to see it, but you don't actually expect to catch a sighting. heehee Wow, I love being likened to Nessie. I'm even wearing her shirt today. :)

Joshua Fit the Battle (This is awesome!)

Chorus:Joshua fit the battle of Jericho Jericho Jericho;
Joshua fit the battle of Jericho
And the walls came tumbling down.

1.You may talk about your kings of Gideon,
You may talk about your men of Saul
But there's none like good old Joshua
At the battle of Jericho.
Chorus:

2. Now the Lord commanded Joshua;
"I command you and obey you must;
You just march straight to those city walls
And the walls will turn to dust."
Chorus:

3. Straight up to the walls of Jericho
He marched with spear in hand,
"Go blow that ram's horn," Joshua cried,
"For the battle is in my hand."
Chorus:

4. The lamb ram sheep horns began to blow,
And the trumpets began to sound,
And Joshua commanded, "Now children, shout!"
And the walls came tumbling down.
Chorus:

"You got to trust the pilot if you get on the plane."
- Neftoon Zamora

Long Lost

My long lost cousin texted me again today and I was able to text him back. I'll probably call him tomorrow. We haven't talked or seen each other since I was about 10 and he was 11! He says when I get to PA in a couple weeks he'll take me out. I'm really very excited about the whole thing--he and I used to be great play buddies...he was sooo hyper and hilarious. I kinda hope he hasn't changed TOO much. Ha!
Bethie and I talked online for a while the other day. SHE sure hasn't changed. I mean that in a good way. Bethie is one of the funniest people I have ever met. Smart too. And definitely creative. We used to have a band together--called the Indispensibles. And our own fake radio show, complete with radio comedies and dramas, etc. She has all the tapes too! Listening to those things is gonna be one of the first things she and I do when I get back to NY. Sigh. My trip up North is looking brighter and brighter every moment, if it's possible. :-D

My Dad (AKA Grizzly Adams)

Time to take a minute out for my dad. He's kinda a mystery man because all my life I was daddy's little girl and then one day when I was 12 he packed up and moved to Alaska. It was as if someone took a laser gun from the future and vaporized him. I mean, when I was a kid we'd sing along and dance to that song "North to Alaska" but when he did so with extra relish I never imagined it was because he really MEANT it. Anyways, that's all water under the bridge for now. I'll be seeing him in a couple weeks and doing the whole "THAT side of the family" thing for the first time since I was a kid. Water under the bridge I tell you.
But for most of my friends, my dad remains a mystery. I rarely talk about him because 1) I rarely see or talk to him, and 2) I mean, the situation is awkward and weird, is it not? But now he's made his way onto--ta-da!--my blog.
My dad IS Grizzy Adams. He met Eddy once and took an instant liking to him. Eddy likes him as well. Every time I tell Eddy a story about my dad, he goes, "Whoa! That's a MAN. Think he can teach me to do that?" See, my dad has been a nature lover all his life. He got a degree in forestry from Ohio State and works for the government traveling all over the country doing...well, stuff with nature. It's his dream job. Many a time he's called me from the road saying, "I just canoed down this river all day and camped out here all week--and they PAY me for this!"
After he left NY, he spent several years in Alaska just being a nature nut. He camped OUTSIDE in -60 F for weeks on end. That's right. NEGATIVE 60 F. He had run-ins with grizzly bears, moose, elk, strange windego-fearing natives and just about anything else under the sun you can imagine. He saw the Northern Lights. All this is, mind you, just after he hit middle age. We shan't go down the lane of the "first" part of his life, wherein he traveled the world by sea, drinking a Singapore Sling at the Raffles Hotel, staying on a Coast Guard ship in Pearl Harbor, and--you get the point.
And I'll leave out his 20+ year time in NY with "our" family, because, how could I fit all this into one blog entry?
Anyway, my dad's the guy who can literally live in almost any environment for any amount of time on like a compass and some rope. Forget the compass. I think he can read the stars.
Growing up with my dad was a trip. He always had to be OUTSIDE. I was a mall rat. If you've ever read Calvin & Hobbes, my dad was THAT dad, chiding me for watching TV, and ranting about why any kid would rather be in a department store than the forest.
In the woods together, Dad would find us both good walking sticks and then point out every tree, every bush, every berry we found along the way and explain whether you could eat it or not, what its full Latin name was and what else it was good for. Of course I forgot everything he said almost instantly, and besides I was too busy running from spiders and searching for newts and salamanders. I was convinced we found priceless fossils up on the coal bank behind my grandmother's house. It was true to a degree, but most were only fern fossils, and the one I thought was a T-Rex skin imprint was probably just some plants.
What else can I say about my dad? For the moment he's stationed in Ohio, and for the few years he'll have to be there, he bought himself an actual cabin and lives there, with snowshoes pinned on the walls. Really. He sent me pictures. The man chooses to live in a cabin instead of an actual house. Can you believe it? This is my dad we're talking about. Sigh.
So it is sorta cool in a way. I mean, how many people can say their dad mined for gold in the Yukon, worked with forest fighters in Oregon, learned the ways of the Aleuts, and saw the Ididerod first-hand? Pretty cool stuff, I must admit. And all that other stuff? Water under the bridge I tell ya--water under the bridge that I'll be kayaking on later this month somewhere in the wilderness of PA. Seriously.

Yay, welcome back Sali! Keep posting on my blog, and your own!
And of course thank you to my one and only babykins, Chuks, for making my each and every day more awesome than the next! ;)
ZZ? Are you here yet!?
I think I got the Monkees blog link wrong when I posted it here last time. It SHOULD be: www.psychojello.blogspot.com
The reference is at the beginning of the Monkee's song "Peter Gunn's Gun" when SOMEone (Micky? Peter?) calls out with a lisp: "What are you kidding me? Psycho jello!" Why? Well, 'cause hey hey, they're the Monkees, and people say they monkey around. Yeah, yeah, cheap shot I know but talk to Mike Nesmith. HE's the one who wrote a skit about a "battered wife" who was covered in pancake batter. He also put a pair of dice in his car window and flashed it on the screen during his "it's Paradise" line in Tonight. Bad, bad man he is. Bad man. Tsk tsk.

St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross

How could I forget to mention that today is the great feast of the great St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross? She is one of my all-time favorite martyrs of the Church. Chuks and my mom and uncle all sent me this summary of her life from www.franciscancards.com:

Edith Stein was born to a Jewish family at Breslau on October 12, 1891. Through her passionate study of philosophy she searched after truth and found it in reading the autobiography of St. Teresa of Jesus. In 1922 she was baptized a Catholic and in 1933 she entered the Carmel of Cologne where she took the name Teresa Benedicta of the Cross. She was gassed and cremated at Auschwitz on August 9, 1942, during the Nazi persecution and died a martyr for the Christian faith after having offered her holocaust for the people of Israel. A woman of singular intelligence and learning, she left behind a body of writing notable for its doctrinal richness and profound spirituality. She was beatified by Pope John Paul II at Cologne on May 1, 1987.

Lion Tamer

Why do I always feel like crying whenever I hear from O? Today I'd just about had it. I read an email from him after he disappeared for several days, got misty eyed as usual for no apparent reason, and set about putting this insanity to an end. My trip to the Great White North couldn't have come at a better time. I uesd it as a partial excuse to abscond. But then, just because I had to, just because O and I have always been exceedingly honest with one another (maybe too honest), I admitteded that there was another reason I'd be cutting back my contact with him. But that's my mystery to keep, and I think he'll respect it.
One day I wish I could figure out why his words bring sorrow into my gut and tears into my eyes. Maybe it's not so much what he says but how he says it, or how he means it all. Maybe it's even just what he doesn't mean. In any case, I have better things to do than spend my afternoons in contradictory sentiments mingled with confusion. In another dream, I'm a lion tamer, but in reality I know lion tamers nearly always get bitten....

In other news, my friend Rocky the spider moved on to greener pastures (or better bug grounds, as the case may be) last night, just when I tried to show him to Eddy. He was only the 2nd spider to EVER win my love like that, so I'll miss him. When I told Eddy, and then P this morning about him, they both looked at me as if I had two heads. I think what did it was when I asked in disbelief, "What? Haven't you ever had a rapport with an insect?" After about a minute of this, I asked P if I could just add one more thing about Rocky. He didn't hesitate to say, "No!"
Oh well, this is my blog and I can write what I want to so there. :)
For those of you who don't know, I'm the biggest arachnaphobic I've ever met. I'm basically the Stalin of the spider world, as I've ordered the deaths of thousands of the creepy things over my lifetime. I'm so scared of them I can't even get close enough to kill them. But Rocky was different. "Man, you should've warned me about Rocky!" Eddy said last night when I told him, "I could've killed him!"

I was up to 6am last "night" watching Lolita on TV (I hadn't remembered that being SUCH a messed up film) and listening to my new neighbors move in and talk. They were cracking me up making fun of their "friend" BF. One of the guys would make a funny voice, the "voice of BF," and say stupid things while the others laughed. This morning when I met P for lunch, I told him about it and he said, "BF!? Wow, I know that guy...." and told me all about him. What a great little town we live in. :-P

Walkin' After Midnight

Just finished watching a show on PBS about Patsy Cline. It's weird to think about, but I'd have to say that although I grew up on a million musical influences, Patsy Cline and the Beatles have to be 2 of the biggest things I heard over and over again as a kid. I didn't grow up to be a rabid fan of either, but the second I hear any of their songs, memories from childhood flood back to me. Walkin' After Midnight--dad and I would dance to that song a lot and make up silly lyrics for it. And don't even get me started on Rocky Racoon. That was my brother's favorite song forever, and so like any younger sister, I made it mine as well. I remember the time we were driving with the Oldies station on (just about the only station that was EVER on around my father) and one of the countless love songs came on. Irritated, I asked my dad why everyone sung about such a useless topic. It just didn't make any sense. I mean, out of all the cool things on earth--horses, puppies, riding bikes, etc.--why did every song have to be about love? My dad laughed and said he guessed it was just important to a lot of people. It really rubbed me the wrong way, and did for years to come which is why I think I still haven't written a proper love song and refuse to. :)

Crazy

Crazy, I'm crazy for feelin' so lonely
I'm crazy, crazy for feelin' so blue
I knew you'd love me as long as you wanted
And then someday, you'd leave me for somebody new
Worry, why do I let myself worry
Wonderin', what in the world did I do?
Oh crazy, for thinkin that my love could hold you,
I'm crazy for tryin and crazy for cryin,
And I'm crazy for lovin you
Crazy, for thinkin that my love could hold you,
I'm crazy for tryin and crazy for cryin,
And I'm crazy for lovin you.

Bigfoot

Great. I saw this thing on TV about Bigfoot and now I'm scared to go feed my friend's cats! Of all the days to happen across that on TV, why today? Now I'm convinced that when I go over there tonight a big hairy ape will attack me. Ugh.

"To accept apparent loss is a battle won. . . ." - Tomorrow and Me (M. Nesmith)

Mike: "I don't like him at all."
Davy: "Me neither."
Micky: "I don't even like him that much."

Guess Who I Thought of?

It's Only A Paper Moon
Words & Music by Billy Rose, E.Y Harburg & Harold Arlen
Recorded by Ella Fitzgerald, 1938

G E7 Am7 D7
Say, it's only a paper moon,
D D9 G D7 G D9
Sailing over a cardboard sea,
G E7 Am7 D7
But it wouldn't be make believe,
Am7 D7 G D7
If you believed in me.
G E7 Am7 D7
Yes, it's only a canvas sky,
D D9 G D7 G D9
Hanging over a muslin tree,
G E7 Am7 D7
But it wouldn't be make believe,
Am7 D7 G G7
If you believed in me.
Bridge:
Am7 Gdim Bm Bm7
Without your love,
Am7 D7 G G7
It's a honky tonk parade,
Am7 Gdim Bm Bm7
Without your love,
G E7 A9 D7+5
It's a melody played at a penny arcade.
G E7 Am7 D7
It's a Barnum and Bailey world,
D D9 G D7 G D9
Just as phony as it can be,
G E7 Am7 D7
But it wouldn't be make believe,
Am7 D7 G
If you believed in me.

What are you kidding me?:
psychojello.blogspot.com
Look, "these are my people!" ;)

Song currently on: Winonah
Album: Pretty much your standard ranch stash
Artist: What are you kidding me? Nez!

I think it's funny that 2 of my 3 favorite solo artists are country (other guy's Gram Parsons of course.) The odd guy out? Otis Redding.

Psycho-Jello

This beautiful girl's blog is finally back up, but sadly we'll have to wait on www.psycho-jello.com
www.psycho-jello.blogspot.com

Things I dig at the moment (more than usual):

Door into Summer
Michael Nesmith's solo records
Lying on my futon
Cletus's background
Driving
Earning money
My buddy O
Judge Judy
The color black
www.spiritdaily.com
Story lyrics ("And he thought he heard the echos of a penny whistle band...")

Oregon Trail

Pulsing ocean greeting me
Silver screens with stars
I look over my shoulder
Wondering who you are
This is this and that is that
You say let's take it slow
But gone is gone and then that was
A long, long time ago
(I. M.)

Well, I officially got the job! J's mom was very cool to say the least. CJ describes her as "an old hippie" which is a compliment in many ways. :) She was very interested when I told her I do human rights/prison work and even wants to hook me up with a friend who does the same thing. The car was no issue at all. Whew! Even though I already "had" the job in most ways, still, the mom could've seen me today and really been turned off by me. I had to laugh as J kept saying all through the interview, "I want her to work, Mom, I want her!" I was very flattered. I think the fact I'm a friend of CJ helps me enormously. J already has signed me on for a good many hours and even wants me to come to Oregon with her and R at the end of Sept. We'll see about that. It'd certainly be awesome, and I've always wanted to visit the Northwest, but I'm pretty sure it might run into my Texas trip, so....Maybe I'll attempt the Oregon Trail another time. ;)

"Her name was Rodanne and she lived in the ocean off Japan...."-Elephant Parts

Harmony Constant

Last night was absolutely crazy. No need to go into it here--let's just say it involved warring cats, a huge spider, a sour stomach and my ending up having to sleep on my hard futon that makes my muscles ache like I've run a marathon when I wake up. I didn't mean to use this blog as a template for whining but man, it really wasn't a good night! Today was spent trying to get some schoolwork done in between mucking out the inside of my car. Would you believe that 5 full trash bags later I still haven't really cracked the surface? I meet my boss's mom tomorrow morning but I pray she says to herself, "This is Athens. It could be worse." :-P On a good note (pun intended) I learned Some of Shelly's Blues last night so I amused myself (and settled down) by playing the thing over and over again. Now I'm not as obsessed with it anymore. That's a good thing. I had a dream last night about a baby mouse that just wouldn't die. I think it symbolizes something I'm trying to surpress but just can't rid myself of. I've got a good idea on what that is but.... Bell South messed up my phone again today! I tried calling BS and midway through the conversation these loud beeps began making it possible to talk. Grr! They fixed the problem a few hours later though (after I complained).

Some of Shelly's Blues

OK OK I know I said y'all had to hear Nine Times Blue but now this is your new Nez required listening. The lyrics aren't as good but the way he uses his voice on this one is SOOOOOO incredible I feel like hitting my head in the wall nine times over and asking myself why I can't put that emotion in MY voice. I guess there's only one Michael Nesmith. And here's what he said:
Tell me, just one more time,
The reasons why you must leave.
Tell me once more why you're sure you don't need me.
Tell me again, but don't think that you'll convince me.
Now you've said, before falling in love again
You'd rather be dead.
'Cause when someone breaks your heart
You cry your eyes read.
But there's nothin' so hard about the life that you've lead
As far as I can see there's no reason for "goodbyes."
You're just running scared and that's something I won't buy.
So you lose
I won't let you go with nothing to show but more blues.
And all this talk about leavin' is strictly bad news.
So you settle down and stay with the man that loves you.
As far as I can see there's no reason for "goodbyes."
You're just running scared and that's something I won't buy.
So you lose
I won't let you go with nothing to show but more blues.
And all this talk about leavin' is strictly bad news.
So you settle down and stay with the man that loves you.
You settle down and stay with the man that loves you.

Keep on Keepin' On

ZZ returned to my life when just last night I was missing him most. I've been loving my newfound friendship in O but there's nobody who can philosophize with me like ZZ!
The hits really do just keep on comin'. The days are actually getting more and more stressful and now to top it off I'm sick and having trouble sleeping. In the middle of last week you couldn't have convinced me the days could be rougher, but surprise, surprise, they are! I think I'll lock myself in the house for the rest of the evening and just hide under the covers. This phase has got to pass eventually . . . doesn't it? :(
Last night at least was interesting. LG and I wanted to go do laundry but then he got his truck stuck in some gravel. I drove over after midnight and pulled him out with my wagon. Then we rode over to the laundromat. There was no one inside but this young Mexican guy who was on his cell phone. LG and I just talked, got caught up, and took a few walks around the place. It was Sunday night so you could practically hear a pin drop all around you. After we finished, we found one of those 24 hour self serve car washes. LG had joked earlier about washing my car that night so I figured hey, let's do it. It had to be washed before Wed. anyways and what are the chances I'd do it left to my own devices? So there we were at 2am getting soaked (we both tried to wash at once.) After we finished, LG looked at my car and said in all sincerity, "Oh that's a nice color, I didn't know it was a metallic blue." I'd forgotten too. I don't think that thing's been washed in years. Now I just need to clear the inside out. I'll be fired in an instant if my boss's mom sees that!!!
My Michael Nesmith CD came in the mail today--finally! Needless to say it's been on repeat here now for quite a while. I can see why no one regards him as a superstar--he's far too good for that. :) Now I just need a new dog so I can name him Nez. You do know that Nez and Gram Parsons both invented country rock, don't you? One of the greatest music forms on earth if you ask me (which you didn't.)
I wish I could quote you some lines from O's latest email to me. He brought tears to my eyes. I've been having a rough time lately, have I mentioned that? I think I just ought to pray.
Sing it Nez:
"Consider the source and ignore if you can whatever is said to undo the plan
Consider the source and ignore it my friend--you're doin just fine, keep on keepin' on"

Dangerous Things

He's not so shy as a dramaqueen
And I wonder why I'm here
As I look into slightly drifting clouds
That frame his head
Blowing smoke into rings
And other dangerous things
I feel the earth quake
But maybe I'm just not awake
It heralds memories of place
And space and sight and sound
When he was still around
With a different face
Pull on your vest, take you downtown
To an isolated skyscraper
That understands the frown
Of a pampered irate citizen
With hands so clean
You'd almost call them lazy
Summer beams above the streams we used to walk on
We never laughed much in those days
Or maybe my brain's just a little hazed
Come to think of it we were
Never really good at all
Never good at all
If now you claim that you're alone
Don't question why I wink at you
With a suitcase packed down at my feet
You'll see me off and miss a beat
And drag your feet all the way home
The earth was made just to annoy you
I can't tell you what to do
Only not to follow me
Humming off key tones

by I. Maccabeus (1975)