African Black Mamba Snake

My adopted bro O calls IK an African Black Mamba Snake on account of the fact that IK is chasing his brother's (FC's) girl. I tend to agree but IK's just so fun to talk to at times and we click so much. Ah well. Now I have S to deal with, an old friend who recently got back into my life and now wants to take me on a date. Ugh. I have the SHORTEST attention span of anyone I've ever met when it comes to boys. Maybe I'M the Black Mamba.

Scared?

www.phobialist.com

This is insane. Apparently there are names for everything from fear of birds, to fear of dust, to fear of bees to fear of EVERYTHING.

Three Neat Words

triskaidekaphobia \tris-ky-dek-uh-FOH-bee-uh\, noun: A morbid fear of the number 13 or the date Friday the 13th.
lionize \LY-uh-nyz\, transitive verb:To treat or regard as an object great interest or importance.
saturnine \SAT-uhr-nyn\, adjective:1. Born under or being under the astrological influence of the planet Saturn.2. Gloomy or sullen in disposition.3. Having a sardonic or bitter aspect.

Visa

www.dailykitten.com Awwwwww!

I've decided I hate visas, or the lack of them. I don't think that any border should have control--let 'em all in! Okay, I don't really believe that, but it'd be nice if I were in control of the border here and could let anyone in I wanted to. I have a couple people in mind already. ;-)
Except IK. He annoyed me AGAIN today. This blog should be entitled: 1,001 ways IK annoys me and I annoy him. He saw me online, moped about how he was down, and when I asked him how I could help me asked me to call him then strategically logged off! He knows very well I can't afford to call him right now, so it's all a part of his guilt-trip. I might just bar the border to him if he keeps this up. Humph!

Hellhound on my Trail

(Robert Johnson reference) [he's a legendary bluesman.]
It was only a matter of time until I officially got into the blues. Not only do I have the blues, but I started listening to it on a regular basis. Considering that Blues Brothers is my all-time favorite movie, and I have a John Lee Hooker record, a Lightnin' Hopkins record (maybe?) and some Blind Willie Johnson songs, this thing's been on its way a good time now. Also, I wrote a bluesman into my latest story so I had to do some research, and wow, it's the funest research I ever had to do. I had to do the same thing back in high school for an early Gospel research project--now that was cool.
Last night was insane. For the past few years I've had chimney swifts in my chimney since the landlord hasn't capped the chimney. Last night it all came to a head when two of the babies got trapped in and didn't fly out with the others for some reason. Thank God E was here. We locked the dogs in the other room and brought the swifts out. They flew all around and eventually E got them each out by throwing a jacket over them and picking them up. Swifts are weird, they don't perch like other birds--instead they cling to verticle surfaces. So they'd cling to the walls high up where we couldn't get them, then tire out and fall to the carpet. I went to www.chimneyswifts.org last night and discovered I'm doing nature a huge favor by lending my chimney out to them. I reported the sighting and everything to these swift nuts who track where the birds are migrating and love this sort of thing. I feel like I'm "in." :-P
IK and I irritated each other a good bit today, what else is new? I told him he was too controlling and demanding for me, and that I need someone more passive. He agreed just to be annoying and tried to make me call him. I told him he could sell ice cream to eskimos but he didn't get me this time. I've learned his little tricks! I wonder what happened to ZZ, but when I asked IK he told me ZZ'd gone to India. Grrr....

Them's Fightin' Words!

IK and I might have broken Georgia law last night.
He, CD, now called ZZ (ha!), and I stayed up for hours just talking together. The two are hilarious together, and they make me feel a little loved because they pretend to fight over me. Then ZZ left IK and I alone for a minute and guess what? We had a fight! And wouldn't you know it was the exact same issue we had a year ago, which is why we stopped being friends in the first place? Sigh. It was awful and I basically told him I wasn't going to be his friend anymore, but cleverly he apologized and once ZZ returned we sort of all had fun again. It's taught me however, (or re-taught me) that IK and I do get on each other's nerves if given half a chance. I was a snot too. Right when we were fighting I was like, "Well since I can't be your friend, can I still talk to ZZ? I mean I don't want you ruining this for me, blah blah blah." And the whole night I kept bringing up his brother. It was fun anyway. ZZ was clueless we had fought so he kept being like, "Oh, every momnet of tonight is so fun!" while IK and I would grumble. ha!
This is why IK and I might have broken the law:
In Georgia it is a criminal offense when a person
"Without provocation, uses to or of another person in such other person's presence, opprobrious or abusive words which by their very utterance tend to incite to an immediate breach of the peace, that is to say, words which as a matter of common knowledge and under ordinary circumstances will, when used to or of another person in such other person's presence, naturally tend to provoke violent resentment, that is, words commonly called `fighting words.'"

All the Possible Musings of A Head Needing Some Rest

I'm listening to Coldplay DJ on AOL and I must say, though I'm not a Coldplay fan really, they certainly have good taste in other music. :) They've already played Wilco and Gram Parsons.
In news of the heart, BC, from now on called CD, has continued to amaze me. I can't really explain it, but he saw it too, just over one phone conversation and a few emails. He's simply amazing. That doesn't mean I'm into him or anything. I think we're both just happy to have found someone who's sooooo complimentary to the other, even if it is basically over the internet. If I ever go to Nigeria, it's nice to know I'll know like half the citizens! Ha! I've been invited and welcomed multiple times by now.
CD is just--wow. He's incredibly intelligent. I told him he should be a philosopher and bishop. He's also very humble and articulate. He told me his whole life's story already and I've told him mine. I've never told anyone half the stuff I broke down for him in a matter of days. Crazy. Furthermore, IK's cool with it. I mean, it can only go so far. He's not leaving Nigeria anytime soon sooo..... It's just really great to be able to type away anything I want, all my thoughts, fears, upsets, etc. and push the send button--the words fly across the ocean into some cafe computer and boom, within a couple days I get an epic response, detailed, unfathomably well thought out and helpful. Kind of like having a super-smart diary that can type useful replies to all your entries. Cool. The other day I talked to FC. For the whole conversation I wanted to bring up IK, but I only managed to do it once. He glossed over it and mentioned that he had to go. It must be a coincidence. If I hurt him, I'll kill myself. I don't intend to, but how do I phrase this: "Baby, I know you've spent all your money on me and told all your friends and family about me and spent all your time making things good for me, and fallen in love with me and all that, but remember how you introduced me to your brother? Yeah, well, he's been hitting on me for like a year and now he's coming to visit me and I dunno, I think I might have feelings for him that I can't quite put my finger on"? Yeah right!
Anyways, my idea was that the matter wasn't even a big deal until one of them came over here physically. IK said, "OK, we'll just both be your husbands until that happens." It kinda sunk it then that I should be open and honest regardless of whether "I'll get caught" or not. I'm prepared to be direct now, I just have to figure out what the truth is though. FC is my heart, but am I really prepared to wait this visa jazz out forever? If not forever, then when do I draw the line? Just when I find another boyfriend in the USA? Something doesn't seem legitimate about that...

Why Ikenna is Fun

makingplanets: tell me sonething else
makingplanets: anything
ikenna_elixir: The Gluteus maximus
makingplanets: LOL
makingplanets: ummm big something
ikenna_elixir: Yea that's the muscle in the butt
makingplanets: HAHHAHA
makingplanets: thats funny
ikenna_elixir: true
ikenna_elixir: Mine's hard
makingplanets: did you have to work on dead people?
ikenna_elixir: yep
ikenna_elixir: we cut them up
makingplanets: EWWWW
makingplanets: thats sick
makingplanets: did you puke when you saw your first dead person?
ikenna_elixir: into bits and pieces
ikenna_elixir: nope
makingplanets: i would faint
ikenna_elixir: I'm a hard man
makingplanets: then die
makingplanets: then id faint again
ikenna_elixir: come off it
makingplanets: LOL
ikenna_elixir: u would not
makingplanets: maybe i would
makingplanets: do they smell?
ikenna_elixir: they're preserved in formalin
makingplanets: hm
makingplanets: what color is their skin?
makingplanets: are they pale?
ikenna_elixir: yep
makingplanets: yuck
makingplanets: dont you get freaked out
ikenna_elixir: nope.
makingplanets: maybe their ghosts will come and haunt you
ikenna_elixir: never.
makingplanets: whats the grossest thing you had to do
ikenna_elixir: They're afraid of me
makingplanets: HA
ikenna_elixir: Cut off a pair of balls
makingplanets: true true
makingplanets: EWWWWWWWWWWWWW
makingplanets: you did that!?
makingplanets: oh gross
makingplanets: i could never be a dr
makingplanets: what happened to all the fish? [the IM background was swimming fish. They randomly disappeared but the bubbles were still there.]
makingplanets: they die or something?
ikenna_elixir: they're bubbling
makingplanets: LOL
makingplanets: did you forget to feed them?
makingplanets: bad IK, bad!
ikenna_elixir: you did
makingplanets: no you did
makingplanets: didnt you buy food?
ikenna_elixir: it's ur job
makingplanets: oh yeah. you have school.
makingplanets: ok sorry
makingplanets: can we get more?
makingplanets: ill feed em
ikenna_elixir: ok
ikenna_elixir: yu go girl
makingplanets: i love when you go along with my insanity
makingplanets: u know im nuts right?
ikenna_elixir: yep...and I'm crazy
makingplanets: for real?
makingplanets: awesome
ikenna_elixir: uh huh

My Favorite Show on TV (along with Cosby and All in the Family and Sanford and Son and Golden Girls)

Come and knock on our door. We’ve been waiting for you.Where the kisses are hers and hers and his, three's company too.Come and dance on our floor. Take a step that is new.We’ve a lovable space that needs your face, three’s company too.You’ll see that life is a ball again and laughter is calling for you.Down at our rendezvous, three is company, too.

Three's Company

It's been a while so all of you have probably forgotten my blog, but I'll write anyways. This time it's juicy. OK, remember how a long time ago FC introduced me to his brother IK? Well, I hated it because I thought it meant FC was trying to pass me off! (This was before FC and I were together.) Also, IK was horribly annoying. It's a long story, but we fought ALL the time. Every conversation with him was an argument. Then, a few months ago, he and I started talking again and YIKES!--it was awesome. We got along famously, and I couldn't see why I'd ever disliked him. He's intelligent (he has to be, he's a doctor--otherwise, people DIE! ha ha), funny (he said God is American, I said NO! He said, okay, He's Nigerian, from the little tiny village I'm from! Okay, wait, let's have a pillow fight about it), creative (he's always on some crazy new business adventure. Right now I think he's selling crude oil with some partners in Texas), passionate (which is probably why when I like him, I like him and when I don't, I really don't), spiritual (Catholic and real about it!), etc. A great conversationalist. We could talk all night. Plus, he's a little sassy and a little frisky in a harmless way. Beautiful. Anyways, this is obviously a problem. We finally had to talk about "what this means" and "how will this affect FC" and "what do we feel" etc. He's confessed his feelings for me. I don't have the slightest clue what to think about him. I haven't talked to FC about it yet. Then, to make matters worse, IK introduced me a few days ago to his friend BC. Wouldn't you know it but BC and I hit it off! We talked on the phone for a long time, then BC started emailing me. These are long, detailed, wonderful emails. The man is attentive, devout, and he actually LISTENS when I talk to him. Weird in a man. He's also very straightforward and honest, like IK. So then BC and I had to ask IK if it was all right that we talk like this. How crazy is this? So now basically, I have three Nigerians that I'm wondering about, one of which I'm actually with-with. But FC is still having visa problems, and I don't know how serious things can be from a distance any longer. Trouble in Paradise? Perhaps. Today I got an email from IK saying how he wants this whole problem solved. He doesn't want to hurt FC any more than I do, but he also really really likes me. (On the phone the other day he cried and said he loved me. I told him he doesn't know that yet, but still, there's something going on with him.) The whole thing is causing me lack of sleep. Then today I had to email IK back and ask permission to keep in touch with BC. BC's attitude is similiar to IK's concerning FC: BC doesn't want to step on IK's toes, but he also feels a connection with me, as I do him. It's very rare I can find any men who 1) have a real career 2)are interesting 3) are seriously Catholic, and love discussing the Faith. Now I've found 3 of them--good? It's sorta good until I realize I need to focus on one! And I am: FC. I won't sing his praises since I constantly do anyways; suffice it to say: he's my baby. But what does all this other stuff MEAN!?

All work and no play makes Renee a dull girl....

Hotel Rwanda

I finally saw Hotel Rwanda and recommend it. It's really depressing, however, so be prepared to cry throughout. If you see it, the story is very similiar to what happened between the Hausa and Igbo tribes in Nigeria in the 1960s. In that comparison, as you watch the movie, remember that Hausa vaguely = Hutu and Igbo vaguely = Tutsi. Then at the end when the Tutsi rebel army comes to the rescue, that would resemble the army UFO's dad fought in for the Igbo back some 40 years ago. Of course Hotel Rwanda is based on a true story and I'm not implying that the complex conflicts in Rwanda are the same as those in Nigeria today. Just making an analogy.

The Handy-man Can cuz He Mixes it With Love and Makes the World Taste Good

The last handy man my landlord had was . . . bad. (Long story. Or stories.) Now I have a nice new one. He's pleasant, dependable, and best of all, efficient. Today he and a Mexican helper came over to install smoke and carbon monoxide detectors. The Mexican and I talked about the Church (of course) and the handy man talked about rock and roll. Then the handy man explained how he and his wife had moved out of Athens. Very casually he gave the reason: "to get away from the Blacks." I was stunned. Then he continued with his philosophy (a common philosophy since I've moved South but hey, every time I hear it it gets a little stranger): "I'm not racist, but there are Blacks and then there are niggers. And they're getting bad around here (Athens)." He was confiding in me as another white person. He just logically assumed I'd understand and sympathize. Yes, Blacks are getting bad around here--almost as if he was talking about rodents or termites. "This house has a termite problem."/"Athens has a Black problem." See, I've heard this very sentiment a LOT--mainly from old whites, but also from young guys like himself. So I'm not totally shocked or livid or anything. But then suddenly, after he tells me this I'm wondering, "Oh no, he's gonna find me out," because I've got pictures of UFO stationed all around my bedroom, and photos of the prisoners I know in the living room--I even have a drawing of 2pac on my wall near a statue of St. Martin de Porres and across from a big picture of a black boy praying. I guess he saw all these but assumed these were Black folks, not niggers. Though it's hard to find any solid reasoning in cases like these. The more I think about this, the more irritated and worried I become. Often I've been confided in by other whites, who just take my whiteness for granted. It's as if they think I'll share their ideas because my skin tone resembles theirs. But would they still confide in me if they knew my life, what I do, or, more precisely, WHO I know and HOW I know them? If I do end up marrying UFO or (gasp) another Black man, will I finally be out of the "white club of secrets"? I kind of like being "in". That way you really know who's who. But I guess my handy man wouldn't consider UFO a nigger anyways. He wears polos and isn't in a gang. What gets me is that when a black person does something wrong, he's a "nigger." But there's no special term for a white person who messes up. Now don't get me wrong. I can get along with racists, I even dated one once. It was interesting. Of course I broke up with him, but that's another story. But when an old lady tells me she's afraid of Blacks, or when a frat boy makes a creepy joke, I can deal with it. I'm not about to join the Black Panthers (would I be a White Panther?) The closest I come is wearing the bougu gown (Igbo) that UFO sent me. I'm more than happy to be what I am. I just think that we should all be happy with what others are, too.

Real Space Log:

Before sleep called Anu but UFO had already left. Woke up early but didn't do much. Read With God in Russia. Got Ukrainian book and magazines in the mail. Studied them for a little over an hour instead of Latin. Watched Cat Ballou for the fifth time or so (it was on TV.) Talked to E on the phone. About to watch Golden Girls, then read more With God in Russia, then listen to UFO singing again. Hopefully, go to bed early and work tomorrow. Can't muster up the interest to work at all today. May rewrite the short story that got erased from my hard drive yesterday. It's about a young small town girl who doesn't want to get married, but her fiance's family is her whole life. I feel exhausted and I haven't even left my house. I didn't go to Confession, Mass or Rosary group. Maybe tomorrow. Yawn. "Thank you for being a friend, travel 'round the world and back again, your heart is true, you're a pal and a confidant--"

How to Get Rid of a Flame (in 3 Easy Steps)

1) Tell everyone you know you've gotten over said flame. 2) Act as though you've gotten over him/her. If you must be around the former flame, be direct and honest. It will come off as sarcasm and you'll fool him/her as well as the world and yourself. 3) Deny, deny, deny: to yourself, to all you know, to strangers and family members, to your cat, to your dog, to your subconscious, in your dreams (day and night), in your work and in your play. Eventually, you will forget his/her name, face and existence. Really. Try it. You're not trying hard enough!!!

UFO--the recording artist!?

Wow. So I feel weird. Last night I talked to Seraphim for a LONG time; it was good getting back in touch--plus, he's one of the few people I know who will just talk intelligently for hours on end about religion and history, politics, etc. Of course he's Orthodox. But that's "close enough" as I ususally say. :) Then I felt lonely for some reason and tried calling Anu (who gives the cell to UFO), but after no answer I called Ikenna. It was 8am in Nigeria and he had a day off to study. He insisted on talking way too long but I enjoyed it. At one point I was listening to the morning birds chirp over there while he told me what they looked like. Lovely. He'll be coming here in October and perhaps staying at my place. Sounds like trouble in a way. I get along with him very well. After you have as many petty arguments as we've had, you just settle into it and tell each other anything. Who knows what kind of relationship we have. It's just friendship, but last night there was some flirting. Keep in mind Ikenna is UFO's older brother, which is why after E and I went to HuHo at 5am and I came home, I went to sleep feeling guilty. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that UFO's photos are standing all around my bedside and they're the last things I see before sleep. Also the fact that he's my boyfriend with intentions to one day marry. So of course I had nightmares and then today some irritating stuff happened (I was expecting it but still, it was annoying.) Then I got to the PO and picked up a package UFO had sent me. I wasn't prepared for what was inside. I still haven't sifted through all that's in there! But aside from tons of books and jewlery, professional photos of him (wearing the Scapular I sent him!), a CD and poster and the BIG thing he got designed for me (more on that later) there was *gasp* a 2-hour long CD of HIM singing various hymns in English and Igbo! I was shocked. One day we were on the phone and I asked him to sing me Immaculate Mary and this hymn he'd written. He did. Then I said I wished I could hear it all day. He said he'd make me a CD, end of story. Now a month later, I get this in the mail! Can you believe it? Whatever I say he does! Presto chango! Sorry to brag (I am bragging) but come on, after you've had as many freakish romantic encounters as I have, you're ENTITLED to ONE normal, decent boyfriend you actually love. Right? However, there's still the fact that last night I was flirting with his brother; and that brother is coming to see me in the Fall. How do I get myself into these situations!?