Talented and Talentless

Guess what's happened to me recently? No fooling. I've become tone-deaf. I wonder why. I'm actually tone-deaf. Now I know how it feels. I'm not ALWAYS tone-deaf, it's just when I try to sing a new song non-acappella that I become tone-deaf. It's like a whale in pain trying to moan over a guitar. It started a few weeks ago and doesn't get better no matter how hard I try. I can sing acappella just fine, but stick the guitar under me and I fall to pieces. It's like I've gone completely Mark Wohlers. Maybe it's psychological. Maybe I've just not been singing enough lately. But it's never happened before. I didn't think it COULD happen. But I'm living proof. I honestly think I've heard child performers who have sung better. I'm not too concerned though because I assume it'll go away in time. If not, I've gotta be the first case of this ever happening chronically. In better news, I'm now reading a new novel that's blowing my mind. I stayed up until 6am reading it and even then I was so riveted I could hardly tear my eyes away. There are only two things about this novel that make it unique: 1. it's unfinished by the author, and 2. I am the author. Hmmm....Seriously, I've never read a book I liked better. Almost. This was the book I was working on a couple months ago--it was taking up all my time and I was even dreaming about the characters. I loved it. Then I got hooked on this other one so I put it aside for a while. It's around 400 pages which is awful because that's only halfway there and once I finish what I've written it's on me to actually write the rest of the book. How irritating! What if I can't? What if I'm all drained of ideas? What if the second half will be stupid? On the one hand I'm excited I could write this well; on the other I'll hate myself if I don't finish the rest of such a cool book. It's weird being author and audience all at once. Leave it to me to be in such a strange position: shocked I can write so well and shocked I've forgotten how to sing.

Monkees Return!

Also TV Land is showing an episode of the Monkees at 230 tonight I've never seen before. Then Mr. Ed. I'm staying up all night if I have to. It's totally worth it. I'm not taking calls or going out at all from 11pm on.

WE SAW PYLON

PYLON! WE SAW PYLON! THEY WERE AWESOME! WE GOT TWO PINK BALLOONS! WE SAW PYLON!
We also saw practically the whole town. Some people thought I had moved since I haven't been in that scene for so long. It was pretty cool. Maybe I'll start hanging around downtown again. Especially now that PYLON is back together. Oh bee, did you hear the way they played STOP IT? Curtis's fills were the best--better than the record. That was so cool I almost died right there on the pavement. And Vanessa and Michael dancing--I'm so glad we didn't chicken out.
www.wearepylon.com Isn't it cool that Curtis did the set for Cool Running and the Lost? (I love that show.) Isn't it cool that Pylon beat Gang of Four at Asteroids? Isn't it cool that I was making fun of Edison in Paul's shop and Vanessa laughed and told me, "You're so mean"? Isn't it cool that Curtis and--okay, that one can't go on the web. But Sony, you know, and you know it's cool. That's beacuse: Everything is, everything is, everything is cooooooooool!

Kayode

Oops, I forgot to mention that as it was, my limo driver back into Athens the other day was Nigerian. (!!!) I got in the car and asked him where he was from. He said Nigeria. I asked if he was Igbo or Yoruba. He said Yoruba. Then I did something stupid. I said, "Ose gidi gan!" I thought he'd be all impressed. Here he was in GA and some white girl was saying "thank you very much" in his native language. C'mon. That's cool. You know it is.
Well, he didn't understand. I repeated it and finally translated FOR him.
"Ohhh," he said with a smile, and said something in Yoruba that only remotely sounded like what I'd said. I'd gotten the words right, but as he said, my "accent was bad." Ugh. Well, la di da Mr. Yoruba!
Then I asked him if he was Christian. If he was Yoruba, there was a 50-50 chance he was. Christian or Muslim. He was Christian, sorta. At the moment he was dabbling in mentalism. I love Nigerians. You can just walk right up to one and start talking religion and he doesn't think you a zealot. Course had he been a Hausa (Muslim), there might have been a problem. In the 60s, the Hausa committed genocide on the Catholic Igbos, so they don't really "hang together much" you could say. Had he been Hausa, I might have let our happy religion conversation ebb away a bit quicker.
His name was Kayode and was actually very informative and cool. He seemed a little impressed that my boyfriend was Nigerian and I had this odd hope my cell would ring with FC on the other line so I could somehow prove it. I thought it'd be rather trippy to be sitting in a limo in GA hearing FC and Kayode chat away in Yoruba for a bit. I'm weird like that. I have crazy hopes. Of course, it was like 9am GA time which meant FC was gently snoozing several thousand miles away. Ah well.
It seems like I'm always running into Nigerians. Really I am. It's like they can sense me coming. Either that or I sense them. Either way, we're meant to be together. :)
I also was happy to see that despite my stupid "accent" I was quite in tune with Nigerian politics and culture, so we talked about the government corruption and fraud for a while and he gave me some pointers on how to get around Nigeria. I'll probably never need to know it, but hey, knowledge is always good, right?
I knew I was "in" when I asked him his name and he said, "Well, I say Kay because you know, dees people, dey can't pronounce it. It's Kayode, an' dey're always okay wit' Kay but for some reason dey can't get ode right. You take dem apart, dey can do it. But together, Kayode, dey think it's coyote or somet'ing like dat. I don't understand dees people." Yay, I wasn't one of "dees people"! :-D
I asked him what it meant. Kayode=brings joy. Awww.

Catechism

Looks like if all goes well I'll be teaching some new little children (or bigger children) catechism in the Fall. Great. Now I can give my mom a break. I "teach" her catechism all the time and she lets me know emphatically that I'm preaching to the choir and/or I can just "take off eh." Then everyone else I know either agrees with me or won't let me teach. But children--they allow it since I'm one of those "big kids." Power! Oh, the power!
Um, none of them can know this web address, okay? I think this blog should be under lock and key until the classes let out. :)
Yuck, I'm 24 now and I feel like a major lame-o. Sony, I really DO "think you already have a Batman toy." It's all one to me. I even wear the old lady hat and shirt.

Something Goes Thump in the Night

Aloha again, I've returned! Hawaii was awesome (how could it not be--it's Hawaii): We did everything from visit a 4300 high canyon to go 115 feet down in a submarine. We visited the neighboring island of Kauai (where chickens roam EVERYwhere because the guy who was transporting mongooses to the island got BIT by one, and in anger threw the box of them in the ocean...true stroy.) The tour bus driver in Kauai was named Debbie and it was her 2nd day on the job. For anyone who's ever seen Night of the Iguana, this was our fate for one day. She almost got into numerous accidents, kept stopping off on the side of the road to make her assistant gather flowers and distribute them to us, and made a few flippant nasty remarks about the Church...on the very day I was wearing my shirt with "CATHOLIC" written across it in huge letters. But Debbie was great despite all that--or maybe because of it all. Interesting to say the least. She wasn't half as interesting as the guy we had in Paris. That guy was drunk the whole time, busted up a headlight, and kept stopping near seedy "SEX-O" shops and disappearing, telling us to "just walk around until I get back." THAT tour all ended with the guy finally giving us over to another tour since I think he had a nervous breakdown. I would've too. All the Latin Americans on the bus were in love with him for some reason and would sing loud songs in Spanish, dancing in the aisle, while he told them to stop. They also demanded to be let out every time they saw a Planet Hollywood. THAT was awesome.
Anyways, we also went to the zoo and aquarium and ate at this restaurant with a fish/shark/stingray tank so big divers could swim around in there to feed them. Crazy. Then there was time for the beach of course and TV time to watch the frenzy over the MJ verdict.
The most insane part had to be, however, my birthday night. We'd been up since 4am on that tour (with Debbie) so by 9pm or so I just wanted to order room service and go to sleep. I went out on the porch and watched the serene ocean just a block away. The room service guy came and suddenly everything changed. His face was pale and he put the tray down on the table immediately, not even really caring where he put it. Then he said, "Don't panic."
Well, I don't know about YOU but when someone tells me not to panic, that's exactly what I do. He said that a 5.3 earthquake had hit off the coast of Chile and the last time that had happened, with a SMALLER quake, a tsunami had hit Hawaii. Wow. The worst part was he was a native and HE was in shock. He told us that the sensors would detect whether we'd be sfae or not with in the next 6 hours. Until then, he said, "keep the TV on." Basically, he was abandoning us to the media. He glanced around before he left (in a hurry, I might add--tips were NOT on this guy's mind) and made a passing comment before leaving: "You're on the 20th floor here. You should be safe. Don't panic." I had visions of the first 19 floors of the hotel being swallowed by water and us having to swim out to higher ground (I was looking at the mountains in the distance with new attention.)
Well, needless to say the warning was cancelled and all was peaceful on the Hawaiian front. But that night was pretty scary. You can believe I said my prayers before sleep! I was literally asking my mom if it was possible to get a plane back to the mainland before morning. I'm still a little wary of Hawaii now. Crazy islands out in the Pacific. Crazy tsunamis. Debbie had just been talking about a hurricane that had devastated Hawaii ten years earlier. What is it with natural disasters and that place? Maybe I'll rethink going back next year...nah. It's Hawaii!
In other news, yet ANOTHER ex-boyfriend is getting married. I would've never even known except I dreamed of him the other night and suddenly got curious as to what he was up to. I typed his name into Google and wham! He's a nice guy and I wish him the best...and now I know why when I emailed him a nice "hi, how're you?" note some months ago he never wrote back. :) I thank God that FC left me a message today with that theme (just by chance.) He said he knows I'm an angel because he looked for my face among the other angels. It's a marriage reference. An Igbo marriage has the bridegroom hid among the crowd and the bride searches for his face. Aw! What perfect timing for him, because I was just sinking into that awful feeling of: "Great. Everyone ELSE has something going on but me."

Aloha

OK all, I'll be back on the 18th, so see ya then! There should be a tanned version of myself returning to the South, exshausted and happy to see my little bees (for those of you who are no doubt freaked out right now, I call my dogs, um and Edison too, my 'bees.' Oh, that makes it more insane? Oops. Shoulda kept my mouth shut.) :-D
I still haven't really packed. I never pack until last, last minute. I tell myself I work well under pressure. Yeah right! OK, gotta run before I miss my plane or something in the morning....
Love y'all!
Don't forget St. Anthony's Feast on June 13th. He's the saint everyone calls on to find lost articles, then, if they're anything like me, quickly forget afterwards. :( Ooh, the irony.

Wacko Jacko Frogo?

Edison and I were waiting for the verdict to come in on the MJ trial today and randomly Edison started sketching MJ's head. I looked over and noticed it looked like a frog! So he sketched the body into a frog and I almost couldn't look at the horror at first. Check it out. But beware, it's very accurate and very upsetting:
http://photobucket.com/albums/y138/eddyandrenee/?action=view&current=Image428.jpg
With the artiste:
http://photobucket.com/albums/y138/eddyandrenee/?action=view&current=Image434.jpg

Tom Sneddon

Ah...I finally slept all night last night. I'm 1-0. Tonight I'm going for 2-0.
Okay, we figured out what we're doing in Hawaii this year. On my birthday (yippie!) we'll go on a tour of Kauai. That's a small island that doesn't get as many tourists. Apparently there's a big canoyon to see and a river to go boating on and some other stuff like a Russian Fort and a "fern grove." Hmmm. Well, it was either this or the mule ride again and I figured I didn't want to risk my life on those sea cliffs again yet. Save that for next year. ;)
I'm very excited about the trip, however, a bit trepidatious too as I haven't felt too great lately. So the fun and sickness factor should just about even out.
Ha ha bee, I can't believe Ems knew to call us hosers. :)
Just remember everyone, Tom Sneddon is a cold man.

Attack of the Ems!

Crazy NYers. A few years ago Jocko called me from the Holiday Inn--I hadn't seen him since high school. Now he was in my backyard, 1000 miles away from NY, touring with some band. I took him around before the show then stayed up all night finishing an important paper for class. Then yesterday Ems called in the afternoon saying she was in NC and about to stay the night in Athens. What!? I hadn't really slept that night so I was counting on getting sleep--lots of it, and early--last night. Ah well. Forget that idea! Anyways, it was Ems so obviously it was fun. Her friend M turned out to be pretty darn cool, too, although she'd just broken up with her boyfriend and was a bit sullen. They got in late and we went downtown for some pizza and drinks. By 130 we were pretty crazy, so we walked back to the motel screaming and laughing and basically acting like those annoying kids I always complain about. We weren't drunk, mind you, we'd only drunk like 1 1/2 drinks per person all night; yet, something about it all made us giddy. M was probably losing her mind trying not to go nuts with anger at her ex, and, well--Ems and I were just being Ems and I when we're put together. Edison slept through it and justified his slighting us by warning "Oh great, I can't go out with 3 girls. You'll be giggling and being really annoying." I was like "Ems and I?! What!? No way! She's just driven 10 hours and I haven't slept. We'll be dragging our feet." Whatever! Edison knew the truth. By the time we reached the motel we were dancing in the street and hollering South Park quotes in respective voices at the top of our lungs while falling over each other in euphoric giggles. Then I got in my car while they went up to their room. As I was driving out I saw the manager walk out and sort of try to stop me. I kept driving. Then he walked down to the corner we had been screaming at and tried to figure out what was going on. He probably thought cats were being killed or something. I didn't get to sleep until after 3am, and then there was breakfast at 7am before Ems and M had to leave for New Orleans (Ems is a cook and is interviewing with Emeril Live!) Edison came to breakfast which was awesome because then I could witness the usual Ems and Eddy banter. Essentially, they insult one another as much as they can while smiling and exchanging dark glances every now and again. I love it. We walked Ems back to the motel where she made him take out a dead hornet from her truck. He threw it on the ground with a napkin and she accused him of littering while he said she should thank him for de-bugging her truck. Priceless. Then she drove us home and he accidentally knocked a bucket of pickels over. It stank. She yelled at him, then apologized, then they hugged and now they miss each other. Awesome. I miss her too but I hope to see her in NYC the same time I see Cinder Block. And if she moves to New Orleans I'm going to grab that girl's ankle and make her take me. :)

Bougu Gown

A bougu gown is an Igbo dress worn by women in serious relationships or by married women during special occasions. FC got one designed for me in my favorite color, along with a matching head scarf, not long ago. To see a funny picture of me dressed in it, click: http://photobucket.com/albums/y138/eddyandrenee/?action=view&current=Image403.jpg
His sister helped with the designer and tried teaching FC and me how to tie it on my head (it was hilarious.) I never really got it right but for these purposes, I think I did okay. :)

The Mystery of the Falling Chair

Just because I can't get to sleep and I'm bored and avoiding other things I COULD be doing--productive things--I'll share with you a funny thing that happened tonight. I was almost asleep in bed when from within my bathroom I heard a big clunk! A big chair I'd had propped up against the wall in there fell to the floor with no explanation. My dog barked and I freaked out, thinking it was obviously a crazed intruder who was going to kidnapp me then kill me slowly in his dingy basement. I got up and tried to get my dog to enter the bathroom, but he figured "bathtime" and balked. Dogs! I tried getting him treats and throwing them inside the bathroom (better him get kidnapped than me) but he was suspicious. Finally I got my cell phone, typed in 911 so all I'd have to do would be press "send", and went and got myself a big steak knife from my kitchen. This was it! I was actually going to have to call 911 after I stabbed some nut in the belly. Actually, knowing me, I'd get so scared I'd probably just GIVE him the knife and close my eyes. I waited at the door with the knife and phone forEVER. I wanted to see if I could hear him breathe, or if he'd give himself away somehow. Nothing happened. Eventually, I cajoled my dog into trusting another treat I'd thrown. He went in and ate it and I jumped inside the bathroom, flipping on the light. Nothing of course. All this lack of sleep is making me jumpy. :) The mystery of the falling chair is still unsolved, however. Hmmm...
http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y138/eddyandrenee/reneecowgal.jpg

Great White North

After staying up half the night helping AABA fill out a visa form for Canada I've firmly decided that if I have kids they're all being born on USA turf and having USA citizenship right off the bat. Period. They can do whatever they want after that, move anywhere in the world, but they're starting off American. Otherwise it's just WAY too irritating. In related news, I've decided FC and I will move to Prince Edward Island and live happy days catching lobster while looking at all the pretty lighthouses. I sent him some info. on Canadian immigration and while reading the site I got captivated by the canook propaganda myself (go figure. After 23 years of fervent anti-canook attitudes [although I have family from there and grew up 4 hours South of the border--wait. That's WHY I've been anti-canook!] I'm thinking of moving there.) Apparently for the past decade, Canada has repeatedly been voted best country because of its great health care system and extremely low level of crimes. I'm sold! (Even if canooks are crazy folks who sit around drinking beer, saying "eh", while moose run around outside in eight feet of snow.) Ah well. I'll STILL call it "Canadia" (that's Ca-nay-dee-a) all the days of my life. Just to annoy canooks and just because it SOUNDS right.

Deserved Insomnia

You know what's interesting? EVERY time I get smug about NOT having some sort of problem, I end up getting it. I won't go into the litany of the plethora of sicknesses and such I've ended up catching right after I mocked someone for having them, but believe me, they're MANY. And I deserved them cuz I did end up learning not to mock folks. When I say mock, I don't really mean it terribly heartlessly. Just, you know--randomly I'll make a joke or tell someone their problem isn't that big a deal. Like for all the times I've stood up for fat people, I've still laughed about them once or twice before. Like with D. I used to make jokes around her ALL the time. If she was hungry, I'd say, "Eat off the fat of the land!" Come on. That's FUNNY! You'd have to know her really, to get it. But anyway, then I was fat for a few months. Really. I was. Ask Rakesh. I was fat from Dec. 2002-Feb. 2003. I don't know why or how, but I suddenly realized the plight of the fat girl. Never again do I mock!
Anyways, this is all leading up to the very simple point that recently I've been hard on E because he has insomnia and sleeping issues. I've felt very comfortable in that I never have sleeping problems. I get in bed and bam!--la la land. Well, you guessed it. All week I've had insane insomnia and it's awful. I'm tired but I can't sleep. No matter how sleepy I am I can't fall asleep. Hence, me writing on this blog at 230am. Aw well, I deserve it. Anytime you ever hear me complaining about any sort of problem--be it illness, relationships, whatever--just remember I deserve it because I've probably felt smug about that very topic before.
Chukwudi where are you!?
Why is every Igbo named Chukwu-something?
The same reason every Hebrew is named something-El.
They stand for "God".
Chukwudi is particularly nice, meaning "There is a God."
Chukwuanu means what Nathaniel does: "God has heard."
Ugochukwu (my babycakes) means what Jonah means: "Dove [of God.]"
Weird because whenever you call any of these people "Chuks," it's sort of like calling them "God." Hmm, makes me a lil' uncomfortable.

Hawaii

I'm leaving for Hawaii in several days, but we're running out of activities to do there. Honestly. Now I'm thinking of perhaps shark viewing, a submarine ride, a visit to an aquarium, a visit to their zoo and . . . well, that's just it. I don't know what else to do! There's a chance we'll go back to the island of Molokai on the mules, or visit Kauai or Maui. This is crazy that we've been so many times we've run out of things to do! What a thing to be stressed about. I'd actually like to try skydiving, but come on, do I have to skydive in Hawaii? I could do that anywhere and plus, I know I'll only chicken out at the last minute anyway. Well, I'm kinda chickening out RIGHT NOW. :) I've been missing FC a LOT lately, I even got up in bed in the middle of last night to email him from my cell phone. He's on another lead about the visa--I checked out the website today and it looks decent. I figure if I could just get him to Ireland, Canada, UK or France it'd be a START. He still may get the lottery that his buddy got but each day he doesn't hear back I get more skeptical. I just need him to get in the same basic geographic area as me so I can stop talking about him so much and just DO stuff with him. Every time something falls through I make up my mind to give up on him for good; then I'll start bawling before I even TALK to him about it. So I guess I'm just in this thing either until we work things out or until one of us finds someone else. Lucy, happy trails with Z in New Zealand! I'll see you in Texas (maybe.) :)

For Zizu

Zizu Zizu, I really really miss you/I know I gained a brother, who is unlike any other/Yet sadly you disappeared on me, farther than my eye can see/When you return I'll have to fuss, (hopefully I won't cuss)/Until then I may be sad--right now I feel a little mad--/But I know I'm staying good and true/To my newfound sweet Zizu!

Irony

One of FC's friends just got a visa--BECAUSE FC signed the guy up. Can you believe it? The irony. Any day now FC will know if his paperwork has been accepted. I'm not trying to be mean, but I just wonder whether the friend has many reasons to come to USA. As many as FC does, anyway. Grrr.... In realted news, I've been ignoring IK's phone calls. I figure if I'm gonna do this thing I'd better do it right. Meaning, if I'm going to talk cute to IK it's gonna be because I've put my relationship with FC on hold. Period. I'll probably only put it on hold officially when I know for certain he's not coming this year.

UFO sighting!

Since I talked about my UFO, FC, so much, it's only right y'all see some more pix of him. As you can see he's now my picture on here. I like this one because he's squinting and giving this sassy look I like so much. Also, he's wearing the Scapular I gave him. It's a St. Joseph one to match mine. Awww. :) (I know, I know.)
I posted a bunch more (oh, joy!) on this link, for your (and my) viewing pleasure:
http://photobucket.com/albums/y138/eddyandrenee/

I rented Roots the other day--it's almost 10 hours long! I'd forgotten most of it. It's intensely depressing of course, but very good to watch. I have a hard time believing Kunta Kinte is a wild one however, considering it's the same guy that later did Reading Rainbow. ;)
I'm glad Roots touched a little on the subject that many African chiefs were selling their own people into slavery. It definitely wasn't just the Anglos and Portugese. My big bro O told me that still happens in Muslim Africa; I looked it up and he's right! I stay out of it though--MY people the Slavs were NEVER slave traders. We were the slaves (look up the word relation between "Slav" and "slave") always. First the Romans, then the Ottomans. We weren't even considered human by the Nazis and Stalin. So I got my rights to stay out of the African slave trade, as I always remind my black and Anglo and Portugese friends. (E's interesting in that he enslaved himself--he's got Port. and black blood.)
That said, I guess I'm a bit guilty of WANTING to put at least ONE African in chains and drag him over to America! Ha ha! OK, off-color joke. Oh no! Another one! This oughta stop....Blah.