Last Night (or the Night Before That)

2 nights ago I fell into bed around 330am....slept until 7:15am...got up and went to work
my boss kept me until 4pm, but I wrote notes for the Bible Study sheet I had to do while at work to cut down on time later
drove home blaring Neil Young on the radio
ran into my house, put dinner in my microwave, emailed D back, turned M*A*S*H on in the background, typed the study sheet up, emailed it to MP, let my dogs out, and ran back out the door (this all took only 2 hours)
by 7:40pm I was practicing the hymns on the guitar with MP that we were going to do at the Bible Study at the jail. Then, 10 min. later we ran to the car and drove to the jail.
8pm, we got there. The Bible Study went well. One of my girls was there which made it even funner. Some highlights included one girl at the back arguing about how JW's really believe in Christ, and us of course dissenting. All the other girls yelled loudly: "Uh-UH! We believe THEM! You're wrong!" to the girl. I had to laugh. We did get on well with all of them though and today I begin meeting them one on one.
Got back to MP's house around 9:30pm. We prayed for the girls and decided who was going to visit whom.
By 10:40pm I was back in my car, driving to Kroger to buy some much-needed food. Neil Young was blaring again. I bought 2 cans of asparagus for some reason. I'd never had it before really but at work I was starving and stole a bite from my boss. Apparently now I love it.
From Kroger I raced to the Kangaroo to meet BS. She's getting married on Sunday and I really want to support her while she's freaking out about it. While I was there, K walked in--this guy who comes in every night that BS is getting to know. I'd met him before but we really started talking this time. For a LONG TIME. He asked me for my # but I was like, no give me YOURS. Then I told him really I just need friends (I phrased it differently. Long story.)
Then I told BS I had the guitar in the car so she said to bring it out. I brought it into the station and she sang while I played. Strangely, customers in the middle of the night aren't impressed or even phased by a concert in the gas station. They just go up to the counter and purchase things anyway. Weird.
Around 1am I realize my food is melting so I hop back into the car and go home (after a pit stop at church to see Jesus). I basically fall into bed after eating a WHOLE CAN of asparagus while watching the end of All in the Family and taking my dogs out.
It was a good day.

How to Do Mad Libs

For those of you that didn't have the fond and silly memories of Mad Libs spicing up your childhood, these crazy stories are composed by being prompted to put random words in blanks. When the words are included in an already-written storyline, the result is like those paragraphs below. Try it yourself and let's see what you got:

http://www.sundhagen.com/babbooks/adlib.cgi

Going Camping
It was a cold, cute night. Etrangere and Blue Ruin slept around the campfire, speaking songs and eating Rice Krispies.
Soon they got tired, climbed into their car tires, and eventually fell asleep. Suddenly, they were both wide awake. There was a loud loving sound outside the tent. Mava grabbed Etrangere's head and held on for dear life. Etrangere started chanting, "Lions and china dishes and gorillas, oh my!" over and over again.
Then into their tent fell their friend Salisbury. Salisbury had been thirsty and had gone into the house for some lemon juice. Now the lemon juice was on the floor of their tent. But they all had a good laugh and went back to sleep.
It turned out to be a very fuzzy camping trip. And maybe next time they'll even leave Mava's backyard.

Mad-Libs

The Science Fair
According to Principal Samuel, the school science fair this year was "very educational." At the same time, Principal Samuel announced plans to quit the school system and become a engineer. "It sounds like a safer job," the Principal said.
Several delicious projects were disqualified this year. The experiment on Animal Magnetism by Adaobi was canceled before we could plug in her rhino. The project by Chuks on Gravity's Effect on First Graders was canceled when the custodians wouldn't let him borrow a ladder. And the nuclear-powered fire truck built by Salisbury was taken away by the police, who said Etrangere will be back in school "any day now."
Becky won second prize with an experiment that asked, Can dogs Learn Karate? (The answer was yes.) The dogs tossed Principal Samuel over a Nigeria and left the science fair. Anyone who sees them should call the main office.
Blue Ruin won first prize with her TNT carrots. By planting seeds in gunpowder and watering them with nitroglycerin, she grew carrots that explode when you drop them. "What a dynamite idea," the Principal joked strangely. So far, nobody has figured out how the prize-winning carrots got into the salad served to the Principal at lunchtime. Just to be safe, though, the Vegetable Surprise has been taken off tomorrow's lunch menu.

Thanks to LSA for this one!

A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village. An American tourist complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them.
"Not very long," answered the Mexican.
"But then, why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?" asked the American.
The Mexican explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family.
The American asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"
"I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, and take a siesta with my wife. In the evenings, I go into the village to see my friends, play the guitar, and sing a few songs... I have a full life."
The American interrupted, "I have a degree in commerce, so I can help you to be a great success! You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat."
"And after that?" asked the Mexican.
"With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City, Los Angeles, or even New York City! From there you can direct your huge new enterprise."
"How long would that take?" asked the Mexican.
"Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years," replied the American.
"And after that?"
"Afterwards? Well my Friend, That's when it gets really interesting," answered the American, laughing. "When your business gets really big, you can start selling stocks and make millions!"
"Millions? Really? And after that?" said the Mexican.
"After that you'll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with the children, catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife and spend your evenings doing what you like and enjoying your friends."

And the moral is:Know where you're going in life... as you may already be there.

FOOD

What is everybody's favorite food? I love me anything Italian!

ALLELUIA

I couldn't sleep last night. I'd messed up my schedule and wasn't able to even get into bed until halfway through the night. Then I woke up every hour on the hour terrified I was going to oversleep. At 7:15am I got up for work and promised myself I'd sleep early tonight when I got home.
Work was hectic and we had a lot to do. This was good because at least the day went by quickly.
On the way home from work I picked up E so he could keep me company while I did my laundry. It was high time I washed my clothes. You don't even want to know how badly they needed it!
While we were at the laundromat, E remarked that he felt like having a buffet. He never wants that so I was excited. I wanted to take him to the Golden Corral in Winder. Once a few years ago BS and I were in Macon and we stopped at a Golden Corral for breakfast and I've been enthralled with it ever since. Then when I went with P the other night my love was rekindled. I've been aching to return ever since (and it's only been 2 days!)
By now it was already after 7pm and surprisingly, I'd lapsed into a sort of blissfully calm state. My sleep-deprived brain was ignorantly happy--not unsober, but definitely altered.
The buffet was awesome as always and I stuffed myself. (Isn't this Lent!?) I ate many things including but not limited to:

Cornbread
Stuffing
Mac N Cheese
Mashed Potatoes
Sauteed mushrooms
Fried okra
Broccoli
Cauliflower
Banana pudding
Chocolate cake
Chocolate cupcake
Two cookies
Carrot cake

We got to see the glowing cemetery again on the way home but it wasn't as lit up as before. We saw a sign posted near the entrance and found out why: a new insurance rule is making all the people take away all the lights! So the glowing cemetery slowly is becoming the stuff of myths. Time is running out to see it in all its quirky glory!
I didn't get home again until 9pm but man did I have a productive day. I logged 90 miles on my car since 8am. 90 miles. I can't stop being appreciative. I mean, several months ago I was excited about driving 2 miles to Kroger. That's how bad my car and brain were.
PRAISE THE LORD!
Truly if this isn't a miracle I don't know what is. Not only am I cured from my health problems of the past few years, but I seem to be better than ever.
I'm exhausted, but it's a "good tired" as the people at the cliche office tend to say.
E hooked my My Space up with one of my favorite songs. Check it out: www.myspace.com/tent6still

It would be funny if I had an enemy who was constantly irking me. One day he would say to me in a huff, "I'm outta here!" And I would say, "To what do I owe this honor?" And I would laugh really hard.

Glowing Cemetery, Iron Horse, and a Cold Medical Ward

This evening P and I drove out to Winder in part to stuff ourselves with Golden Corral cooking, but also to witness the 7th Wonder of Georgia, the "Glowing Cemetery." On 316 just before you get to the Golden Corral, on your left, you will see graves lit up by blue lanterns, blue crosses, etc. At night it's an eerie and mystifying sight. Only the South could produce something so haunting, eccentric and creepy. I heard about it first from JB years ago. He was driving home from Winder talking to me on his cell when suddenly he freaked. "There's a graveyard down here lit up like a Christmas tree!" I didn't believe him of course, but there it was, in all its spookiness.
Not as spooky as the Iron Horse at midnight, however. After a certain point during my stay in Georgia, I decided it was about time to track down the mystic beast that had once sparked a grotesque riot on campus. LG took E and I out into the cornfields late one night and after a long time of scanning and rescanning the dark hills along the highway, he turned the headlights on to leave and BAM! About 10 yards ahead of us was the shape of the black monster. I still get chills to think of it. We trekked out to it with shivers surging up our backs and made peace with it by patting the cobwebs off its bones. It made us sad to depart from it; there it was deserted in an isolated prison--forever banished because it puzzled students into strange violence.

It's nice to talk with people like P and LG. They don't just talk about mundane everyday things. In fact, they never do. Instead they theorize and philosophize about everything under the sun: recent trends, the old days, why kids today are so sullen, why music today isn't that great, what's going on with politics, etc. It's like they're constantly striving to understand the universe. I learn a lot from their speeches and ideas, and I put myself into a similar frame of mind (I don't have to push myself too hard).
In the past 3 days I've met more new and interesting people than I have in the past 3 years. It was like I just stopped meeting people (ummm, I guess this has something to do with the fact that I didn't leave my house!)

Things at the jail were worrisome yesterday. The girl I was visiting had been threatened by another prisoner and moved to the medical ward. It's cold there, with no other people, no TV, no anything. She was miserable by the time I got to see her. She didn't understand why she was the one made to move to such a place, when it was the other prisoner who had threatened to stab her with two pencils. The name of this predatory prisoner? Let's call her SR. I couldn't believe it! I've been doing jail ministry there for about 2 months now, and if there's one thing constant with each prisoner I've met it's that they all bring up the same name, over and over again: SR. Whenever something's going wrong, you can bet SR is behind it. What a lady she must be!
To make a very long story short, I did try to help my prisoner in question. I called her parents (who were NOT too pleased) and they in turn called the jail to investigate. I hope that by Friday, when I visit again, things will have been resolved. Until then, keep a certain woman prisoner in your prayers please.

Everyone laughed at Christopher Columbus when he said the earth was round, but then he wrote a great song.--Hawkeye

Today I'm thinking about Jessica, and all the cool things she and I could have done had she moved to Athens....
I'm always going to remember you, girl. :(

My Computer Is Coming Alive

It's 2am and happening again! I was on My Space looking at a comment L left for me when a voice that sounds just like hers began saying "Hello!?" from my computer! What is going on!? It's the same voice but I was on a completely different site! So apparently my PC is just always talking to me but I never realize it because I turn my speakers off most of the time.
CREEPY!
If anyone can offer any guess about why this is happening, please do tell me.

This is a Barn Owl dancing at the zoo.

Happy St. Joseph's Feast!

It's 6am and I just got up to meet someone. *yawn* Of course I'd just gone to bed. :-)
Yesterday was fun. I showed E the zoo and we took a bunch of photos with the eagle and deer. Then after various errands I went downtown to talk with P. We hung out just like in the old days, with him expounding on everything from pop to the Navy. ("I like Coldplay"--Of course you do, it's all been made into a science! Every detail is arranged for you to like Coldplay.) While I was there this young guy came in and kept trying to talk with me. He was annoying and weird but P and I were still nice to him. Then, the guy asks for my number! I hate being mean so I gave it to him. I guess I'll just ignore him if he tries calling!
V's baby brother died in Katrina. I had wondered about that since I knew all his family was still located in the Big Easy. :-(
I came home to a lovely card from a prisoner who wants me to know that he's my shoulder to cry on if hard times arise, and a huge pacakge on my doorstep. Inside was a gorgeous (and big) framed clock with an immense picture of a unicorn and a moon on it. A prisoner had sent it. The postage on this thing must have been out of this world. I remember weeks ago this guy asking me how I felt about unicorns--I told him I loved them ever since I was a kid. What a sneaky person he was, telling me he only fleetingly wanted to know as he'd seen a picture of one somewhere. Sneaky, sneaky. I very much appreciated the surprise.
Maybe that's why I work with the prisoners. People who have nothing will give you everything if you just take the time of day with them. Every year all holidays and all birthdays are remembered ferevently by them and celebrated with gifts and cards. If I have a problem, I can get pages full of insight written back within a couple of days. And I can't tell you how much art I have my present place and my room back in NY decorated with. Everything from toothpick boxes and clocks (remarkably well-made), to paintings, model houses, sweaters, Roasries, necklaces and bracelets. They just send them. You can't stop them.

I talked to my family all visiting with my grandma (she's doing a little better-keep praying!) and then my brother who was actually very helpful in giving me all kinds of advice about the future.
Then I completed a lot of prison work and fell asleep only far after midnight.

It is FREEZING in the South today!
In a few hours I should be going to Mass and then work. I am going to make myself get some good Zzzs tonight.
Though today, as the 19th, is usually St. Joseph's Feast Day, L has notified me that it will be celebrated tomorrow since it falls on a Sunday this year. I guess in this way, St. Joseph has a double feast!

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!!!

ZZZ

Sleep would have been a nice idea! I ended up leaving and staying out until 1am or so. NOW I'm going to sleep. :-P

What a day. I couldn't sleep all night because first, I've got my sleep schedule all outta whack and couldn't get tired, and second, because my phone kept ringing off the hook. Then, to make matters worse, I kept thinking I was going to oversleep so I'd wake up every hour or so and check the clock (don't you hate when that happens?) I was a zombie at work and ended up staying 45 minutes late. Knowing I'd fall asleep if I didn't do something else, I picked E up on the way home and we took the dogs out to the park for a walk--THEY got the walk, WE got full bodied workouts. Then I came home to some personal issues and by this point I'm just about ready to fall over. I think I'll have to cancel out on my girlfriend tonight (I was gonna visit her at work but....) and just give in to nature as soon as night falls.
Yum, sleeeeeep.

Feasts in Lent

St. Patrick's Day is the 17th and St. Joseph the Worker's Feast is the 19th. Wear all things green and work hard. ;-)

Remember, the holiday has a reason!

According, therefore, to the measure of one's faith in the Trinity, one should proceed without holding back from danger to make known the gift of God and everlasting consolation, to spread God's Name everywhere with confidence and without fear. --from the confession of St. Patrick

if you could only see the way

What a blast from the past. My ex just called me from Omaha. I don't know how I feel about this. Why have these past 2 weeks been so confusing?

"Mime it I might and hobble lame across some stage
Rigged up to tell some philanthropic audience
What is true honour and true courage in our age,
Heaven forbid that I shall ever get the chance!
Dance me down, Fortune - saw I not this very morn
Aristrocratic spirits in their smitten frames
Go nobly on with living."

-(The future Saint) John Bradburne, on the lepers he loved

all ya need is love

I tried to make my heart like stone but after it was done I cried. I was hoping that a certain someone would be the answer to all my problems, and for a few years, it worked. Now I have to go it alone and I don't know if I can. How come he didn't yell at me, protest or make me change my mind? How I hate being right.

My blog is acting insane!!! I think it may need some therapy. Let's all say nice soothing things to it and hope it will come around.

What time zone are these posts supposed to be in? I thought I was Eastern time but apparently not because everytime I choose that option it gives me these crazy times. Sigh.

If there's a problem a warm fuzzy dog can't fix I don't know it.

Please everyone say a Hail Mary for my grandma's health. I feel that if everyone who reads this says just one Hail Mary (or more if you can spare it!), we'll be on our way to a miracle. And we need it! Today my grandma saw her specialist and he told her he'd never seen a case as bad as hers and he couldn't help her. What a bedside manner!

Kangaroo

It's 330am and I just got in from hanging out at a Kangaroo gas station all night, from 11pm on. I know it doesn't sound like fun, but when BS (whom I was visiting at work) and I get together, EVERYthing is hilarious. We met a bunch of folks who stopped in, remembered crazy stories from our past (the time we shot a rifle with drunk hicks in Macon in the middle of the night in the middle of the country, the time we drove 110mph to Savannah for St. Patrick's day to stand in beer up to our knees, the time we brought a video camera into the ghetto and the drug dealers blocked us in until we cut the tape off) and cleaned up the place to make it look like a million bucks. We ate candies galore while sipping soda and YooHoo, and then we delved into our recent past and explained each other's reasonings for not really calling the other in a while. Now, on April 2, she's getting married. Things are different now. We can't just wake up in the morning and say, "Let's go on a road trip this weekend!" But apparently we can still spend 4 hours at the Kangaroo shooting the bull with random strangers (a disgruntled ex-Kangaroo employee, a self-proclaimed country star from Nashville, a man who soundlessly slid up behind me like a ghost, freaking me out and making me ask him if he was flesh and blood.) BS is great. Together we're fearless. I hope to go back and see her soon. You'd never think that a gas station after 11pm could be so exciting. :-P

If you could go back in time, would you and what would you do?

My picture to the right seems to have dropped off the face of the earth. Can anyone explain this?

nevermind the furthermore the plea is self defense

I found Brian Nichols and plan to write him a letter tonight. I don't know how I feel about this. I know how this sounds, believe me, I do. If I weren't me I'd think I was crazy. I am me and I think I'm crazy!
Brian Nichols is the only prisoner I know of that I actually fear. Maybe that's why I need to do this. I need to push myself to the limit to understand how frightening some people can be. Because as it stands right now I'm too calm behind bars, too self-assured and stupidly-naive.
Maybe Brian Nichols will change that.

Lately the West has dropped out of the race, but the milk just got shifted to the other side of the pan....

HO CHI MINH CITY, Vietnam, MARCH 12, 2006 (Zenit.org).- The Church in Vietnam needs new facilities and better-trained teachers to accommodate the increasing number of candidates to the priesthood, according to the archbishop of Thanh-Pho Ho Chi Minh. Cardinal Jean-Baptiste Pham Minh Mân, 72, told AsiaNews that in the archdiocese there are 230 seminarians living in a small facility. "This means a shortage of living and teaching space," he said. Also, the cardinal said, "there are not enough well-trained teachers." He said two reasons for the overcrowding is that the archdiocese (formerly known as Saigon) receives candidates from six southern dioceses, and that the government has stipulated that they allow all applicants to be admitted. In Hanoi, St. Joseph's Major Seminary supplies priests to eight northern dioceses. Currently, it has 235 students but not enough space for all of them to live. The Holy See and Vietnam do not have diplomatic relations, but for some time have been following a path of rapprochement. About 6 million of Vietnam's 83 million inhabitants are Catholic.

HWY 1

Be gone, wicked link!!!

Highway 1

I want to rent a convertible and travel Highway 1 from LA to San Francisco, taking about 4 days to do it. I want to see the old missions and Western towns, the ocean, the mountains, the cliffs. I want to do it today!!! Anyone up for such a thing? ;-)

Slop in Prison

Throughout the nation, various scandals are constantly erupting concerning the inadequate food served in prisons. In one memorable moment, Texas' Death Row was consuming plastic hamburgers for months before anyone noticed and complained. Take a moment and sign this petition against such human rights violations. http://www.thepetitionsite.com/takeaction/937132357?ltl=1142148391

Brian Nichols

A year ago, Brian Nichols overpowered the female deputy in charge of him, took her gun and went on a killing rampage, killing 3 in an ATL courthouse and a 4th victim later that night. He took a young widow hostage and acted even stranger. He respectfully put a towel over her face while he took a shower so she "wouldn't have to watch him." Then they watched TV and when he learned that the deputy he had beaten was still injured, he raised his eyes and asked God to spare her life. This October, he will go on trial and probably become the newest member of GA's death row.
I want to talk to Brian. Not because I condone his actions and not because I'm not sickened by his crimes. In fact, I get ill to my stomach and highly disturbed when I imagine the rage and hate and violence he spewed out that day. But I want to communicate with him.
Maybe it's a need to understand the incredible. Maybe it's a horror that attracts me much like an accident on the side of the road. Maybe it's the unshakable fear that Brian Nichols really isn't so different from myself.
Raised in middle class suburbia, Brian attended a Catholic high school then went on to college. He played on the college football team, had a good sense of humor, and was well-liked. He played keyboards at his church and attended regularly. He encouraged his brother to get God into his life. From there, his life went downhill. He was incarcerated a few times, then finally stood trial for raping his ex-girlfriend. It was at this trial that he snapped and ran wild.
Where did the change come from? At what moment did the God-loving Brian turn into the murderous Brian? Or was it a slow decline, progressing in evil one day at a time? Or, most frighteningly, did Brian never really change at all? Was he always a dangerous individual, a time bomb just waiting to explode? Did he always harbor these tendencies, but just deny them, hide them, and cover them up? What does this tell me about what I'm capable of?
With all this in mind, I wonder too whether Brian Nichols, now in a jail cell somewhere in the state, is "the same" Brian that went crazy on that March day last year. Or is he "the same" Brian that laughed with his friends at the Catholic high school? Or is he somehow both? Or neither?
I don't believe so much in "a criminal mind." I don't think you can measure a person's skull or track his genetic history and discover where exactly he went wrong. There is no genetic tag for murder. Instead, murder is a choice, an option one considers sometimes in the blink of an eye. And when the choice is made and executed, there's no turning back. Ever.
But there is healing. If there weren't, then King David wouldn't be the saint that he is. St. Moses the Black wouldn't have his exalted place in Our Church. If healing wasn't somehow possible, Christ would have never bothered to die on the Cross for our sins and promise redemption. All sin scars. All scars can heal.
So I want to talk to Brian Nichols because I want to understand how one can rise and fall from grace in the passing of an instant. And I want to know how one can climb up from the pit to resume a place in the light.
I want to learn how I can keep myself from ever killing someone.
Mortal sin. Murder is not the only mortal sin in the world, though this Western culture seems to think so. In fact, I myself have committed mortal sins before. Hell is hell and sin is sin. While I haven't gone on a 4-victim killing spree, I've committed sins maybe our villainous Brian Nichols wouldn't stoop low enough to do. So while I can judge his actions, I really can't judge the man.

You may wonder why I want so badly to talk with Brian Nichols when every day I communicate and work with various prisoners, many of whom have killed people. Maybe it's because since I don't know Brian, he's taken a more notorious image in my mind. The prisoners I know, I usually meet under different circumstances. I don't know their crimes first then introduce myself later. So their crimes don't hang over their heads like black clouds when I interact with them. Furthermore, Brian is a serial killer; I've never known someone who killed so many.

I want to talk with Brian Nichols. Not about his case or crimes or history. I want to talk with him like I'm talking with you or anyone else. I want to talk with him about today, tomorrow and what book he's reading now. I'm not forgetting his terrible crimes nor am I pretending they never happened. But I'm curious to learn more than just what was going through his head as he pulled the trigger. I'll bet even he doesn't know that. I've never been one interested in crimes or violence. Some people who take an interest in criminals are really just interested in hearing gruesome details of strange crimes. I'm interested in people. Living people. And how people in general can turn from sin and lead decent lives.
There are truly holy men and women living in the US prison system, believe it or not. There are people in prison right now fasting austerely for Lent, praying daily and preaching the Word of God. There are people in prison we can learn from. Maybe Brian Nichols is one of them.

I want to talk with Brian Nichols. But I can't. Not now. I can't because he seems to have disappeared from the GA Dept. Of Corrections! I can't find him anywhere. But it's for the best, since, if I were to pen a letter tonight, what would I say? I'd probably say, How are you? I'm not here to judge you. I'm a Catholic and want to pray with you. Tell me what you are going through right now.
I wouldn't have to say I despise his crimes. He'd already know that.

another Pleasant Valley Sunday

A lazy Saturday. I awoke late, having gone to sleep at 5am (because I could), then called to check on my grandma. I was able to call her in her hospital room and talk with her for a minute. She sounds very tired, and she's in a lot of pain. They're trying to control the pain with Demorol (sp?) but my brother says that it was a bad choice. Mainly it just makes you drowsy. She has to stay at the hospital until a specific doctor visits her, and that won't be until at least Monday. I'm very scared and hurt. Please keep praying everyone! Padre Pio is her favorite saint.
Mainly, I wrote today. I spent a few hours enjoying the warm breezes on my porch reading prisoners' letters and responding. Then when it got too dark to see I came in and read some long emails from faraway friends and took my sweet time replying. Now it's almost 10pm and it feels like my day is just getting started. Thankfully Mass isn't until 11:45am tomorrow and I don't have to be at work until 5:30pm. Lazy, lazy, lazy.
O. gave me enormously helpful advice about all of my stress. He says to just stop thinking so much and over-analyzing everything. I feel better already. :)

Lenten Talk 2: From UFO's blog

http://smile4chuks.blogspot.com/2006/03/lenten-talk-cont.html

I love this one! Check it out, y'all! I'd never seen things in this light before. The reflection part has to do with the Muslim backlash against the Dutch cartoon. The Muslim Hausa in Nigeria's North have targeted Christians, killing many including a priest. :(

My grandma has gotten very ill lately. Please pray for her. I don't want her to leave me yet. Heaven would be a better place for her, but I'm selfish and still thinking of me!!!

Ode to Our Best Friend

The dog. Man's best friend. No other animal has served mankind as much as dogs have. Not horses with their strength or swiftness, cats with their calming purr, birds with their chipper songs or cows giving meat and milk. God must have created dogs with only man in mind, because almost every need man has, dogs can fulfill in one way or another. Throughout history, only dogs have universally entered into our families, our lives, our hearts.
For centuries, bedouins in the desert have considered dogs as members of their families. Whatever the people had to eat they shared with their dogs. Dogs slept with them in their tents and hunted on command. They kept their owners warm in the cold night and fed them by hunting in the day.
Dogs have been a mode of transportation, carrying man over miles of snow by sled.
They have been a source of camaraderie and comfort, guarding homes and flocks of domestic animals.
They have gone into battle, giving their lives for us, fought side by side with law enforcement officers, tracked down harmful fugitives. When a disaster strikes, they push through rubble to find us, and if we have died, they bring our bodies to our anxious families.
Dogs have been everywhere we have been. They are always on our side. They are the type of best friends who agree with us even when we're wrong, defend us against our foes regardless of the cost, and who want nothing in exchange save our presence.
If I were to examine my life, and the history of man overall, and give God thanks for what I thought was His best Creation, I'd have to praise Him for the dog. There is no other creature that gives me, and so many others, so much joy and love, security and peace.
Long live the dog!

Thank you times a million all of you for encouraging Si's blog! I can't tell you what this means to me and him! :*) I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!

Help!

Please, PLEASE everyone check out Death Row Musings and leave a comment so I can print it off for Si and let him see what the new blog looks like. This is incredibly exciting for someone who has never been on the internet before, and someone who has to live in a cell 23 hours a day. I'm sure this would count as a Lenten work of mercy, spiritual and corporal! :-D
Thank you UFO for helping to get the ball rolling!
Also everyone remember to check out the Lenten retreat on UFO's blog. The link is on the right as well (Chuks).

Death Row Musings

Since Live Journal really isn't looking that good to me anymore, I moved Si's death row blog over to Blogger. You can click on the link to the right and visit awhile, leave comments, etc. Don't worry, he won't bite! But he and I will both appreciate your support because every pair of eyes that reads his words leads us as a nation one step closer to justice for all.
Even if you don't agree with his passionate opinions, please take the time to read and yes, argue with him. We're looking to break down the barriers between death row and the rest of the world, one typed sentence at a time.

freaking out in the afternoon

The guru in Head was right (imagine that! broken clocks are right twice a day): choice brings stress and sorrows. Maybe this is why in the Mississippi Delta people thought that the devil came to you at the crossroads....I have NO idea now what I'll be doing after July of this year. The whole problem is being complicated by old desires, my dogs, and health insurance. What a trio.

i can take or leave it if i please

There are so many things I want to do:

Own another horse and ride daily
See "the old country" of Ukraine (July!)
Live on the West Coast for a while (later this year?)
Travel all over the world
Get some literature published
Go back to music and tour a little and record again
Make new solid friendships that will last
Play a real harpsicord
Learn to play the harp like Harpo Marx
Get a PhD
Be really, deeply happy with no wants (Psalm 23)
Ride in a helicopter
Ride on a ship out to the middle of the ocean

Let's not forget it's Lent

http://smile4chuks.blogspot.com/

in your book of Who's Who

My Space is a beautiful invention. First, V from Pylon wrote me a comment (squeal!), then I looked up all these kids from high school I'd forgotten about. It was weird. Some sadly hadn't changed enough and some, intimidatingly, had changed too much (Joe--the manic pothead, a librarian in Honolulu!?) I'm so glad I got outta NY! It was cool though to see that EM, one of my band's old hangers-on, who learned how to play drums on my set, is now drumming for a band apparently big enough to get fans who comment on his site. But it was frightening to see a Halloween picture of him with Faju: that's "Fat Jew". Yes, you heard me. The kid's name is Faju because he's fat, and a Jew. Everyone up in NY is a Jew, so don't go thinking we were all a bunch of racists. All the kids calling him that were Jews. Anyways, I have disturbing memories of Faju doing disgusting things to get attention, and all the other boys urging him on. I think I'd repressed those memories until My Space dug 'em all up. *shudder*

...and a homecoming queen

It finally happened after much ado. Hello My Space.

www.myspace.com/tent6still

...if it had been my blood...

Bush just went to Pakistan and the 2 presidents gave speeches. In the background, as always during these events, smartly dressed Pakistani soliders stood at attention. Usually I watch these guys more than I watch the presidents because I'm always fascinated how still soldiers can stand, for so long a period. But this time, it was different. It was actually amusing (to me, at 3am) how casual the soldiers were. They kept shifting weight from one leg to another, scratching themselves, etc. I guess it was one of those things you just "had to be there for" to fully appreciate.
Yes, I know, I'm a little odd.

RAGS DAY '06: Anu(UFO's bro), Chrys, Martins

Choice and decision are two of the heaviest burdens I'll ever carry. Maybe there's a reason I chose the signpost as my blog photo.

back to that fork in the road

HOLLYWOOD, Michael Nesmith

The sun that's calling from the southwestern sky
Tells me that I must depart
By sundown today, I'll be on my way
But I'll be leaving my heart
It's not the countryside that appeals to my eyes
It's the spirit that captured my mind
But the things I tried to be made a wreck out of me
Now a different road I must find
These things I think are new, I guess they're really old
It seems that I've done 'em all before
Now to go back to that fork in the road
Takes all the strength of my soul and more
Ah, good-bye, good good-bye, cruel town
You've been a fairweathered friend
Now I will go to some place that I know
Where things don't start just to end
Ah, good-bye, good good-bye, cruel town
You've been a fairweathered friend
Now I will go to some place that I know
Where things don't start just to end


...isn't it crazy how a stranger wrote my exact thoughts 30 years ago? I think I'll sue.

If you ask me tomorrow I'll disagree with myself, but I'm in a strange mood right now, so I want to say: People should follow their heart, no matter where it leads them. So long as their desires aren't sinful, they should track their love regardless of how "practical" or "possible" it seems. They should give up everything to follow that love, and even if they should never obtain it, I feel they would die happy, knowing that at least they never sold out, they never backed down, they never covered up the truth and pretended.

cheer up sleepy Jean, oh what can it mean?

Whoa! It's 5am and I just got frightened. I was making out e-cards to my mom and UFO and I turned the speakers on so I could hear the music they play over them. Suddenly, a voice called out, "Hello!?" I waited for the song that was playing to repeat itself to see if it was on the recording. It didn't happen. Then the third time the song repeated (as I was filling out the card), the voice came again. "Hello!?" But it was at a different point in the song! I don't know WHAT that was all about, but it sent shivers up my spine. The voice kinda sounded like you, L (Texas)!!! Were you trying to contact me via telepathy? :-P

I got flashbacks of the time when I was about 13. I'd stay up all night playing a horse racing PC game. One night, the PC just went wild, and started typing all sorts of insults on the screen! Maybe I do something to computers to get them mad at me....

sound of the sunset sound of the sea

God is so good, He lifted my spirit this morning.
At 3am, I awoke from my nap and of course couldn't get back to sleep. I was racked with worries. My landlord is giving me 2 weeks to resign the lease or give it up and with no place to put my dogs yet and no sure admission to any program, I'm sweating bullets. So I decided to come online to check out shorter volunteer possibilities. If I could go to Ukraine for July, then go to California for maybe 3 months instead of a year, I could keep my apt. until I had to leave next summer for grad/law school. That way I wouldn't have to worry about my dogs (E could just watch them) and I wouldn't have the double expense of moving twice in a year (once to CA then again to wherever my law/grad school is.) Anyways, I came online and was met by the sweet (internet) face of UFO! He made me feel good as always. It was a perfect surprise and I do thank God, because He knew I was about to freak out and needed solace.
In other pleasant news, it seems there is a plethora of short-term programs; one is chastity-based which is right up my alley (not because I'm the purest person you'll meet, but because I WOULD at least like to be.)
Decisions, decisions. I still don't know what I'll do.

(Photo of UFO as a young child.)

Ash Wednesday

I think I'm finally feeling better. Whew. I still won't be gabbing away like usual until I can be sure my voice is OK, but at least I'm starting to be able to breathe through my nose again. Hurrah!

Ash Wednesday is here. Time to walk around town down South and have people stop you to say you've got "dirt on your head" again. Oh, how I look forward to this!

Question: If you could be any fictional character, or be friend's with any fictional charcter, who would it be and why?
For me, I've wanted to be in the Monkees, live with the Three's Company gang, argue in Judge H. T. Stone's courtroom and camp out in the 4077 Swamp.